h; I only want to know what it
magnifies.

TOUPEE. Je ne vous entens pas, monsieur.

HUMPHRY. Why, what outlandish dialogue is that you're a talking? I can't
understand your lingo as well as the Schoolmaster's, with his monstrous
memorandums, and his ignorant mouses.

TOUPEE. You be 'quainted with monsieur de Schoolmastare, monsieur?

HUMPHRY. Yes, mounsieur; he and the consumptive old gentleman, old what's
his name, was a wrangling about that confounded name that I was axing you
about;--caw--con--[_Looks at the paper._] aye, Constitution.

TOUPEE. Dat Constitution is no bon;--de Schoolmastare vas strike me for
dat. By gar, I get de satisfaction!

HUMPHRY. He talks as crooked as a Guinea niger. [_Aside._

TOUPEE. He vas call me--ah, le diable!--block; dis--[_Points to his head._]
blockhead, oui, blockhead.

HUMPHRY. If you've got a mind, I'll lather him for you.

TOUPEE. Yes; den I vill lader you for nothing.

HUMPHRY. You lather me for nothing?--I'll lather you for less yet, you
barber-looking--

TOUPEE. No, no; me lader you so. [_Lathers HUMPHRY'S face._

HUMPHRY. Oh, with soap-suds, you mean:--I ax pardon, mounsieur; I thought
how you was a going for to lather me without soap-suds or razor, as the old
proverb is.

TOUPEE. Dat is no possible, monsieur.

HUMPHRY. I believe not; you shou'd be shav'd as clean as a whistle, if you
was; 'faith should you.

TOUPEE. Yes, I will shave you very clean;--here is de bon razor for shave
de beard.

[_Draws the razor over the back of HUMPHRY'S hand,
to shew him it can cut a hair._]

HUMPHRY. [_Bellowing out._] You ill-looking, lousy, beard-combing,
head-shaving rascal! Did you ever know any body for to have a beard upon
their hand?

TOUPEE. You be von big 'merican brute, sur mon ame!

HUMPHRY. You lie, as the saying is. What a mouth he makes whenever he goes
for to talk his gibberage!--He screws it up for all the world like a
pickled oyster. I must have a care I don't get some of that snuff out of
his nose.

TOUPEE. You please for taste de snuff?

HUMPHRY. I don't care if I _smell_ some.

[_Takes a pinch of snuff, which makes him sneeze, while TOUPEE
is shaving him; by which he gets his face cut._]

TOUPEE. Prenez garde a vous!

HUMPHRY. The devil take the snuff and you! [_Going._

TOUPEE. S'il vous plait, monsieur, you vill please for take de--de--va