FRANKTON and LOVEYET._

HUMPHRY. [_Burlesquing them._] Forward, march--as our Captain
says--[_Struts after them._]--Literary lubber, eigh! But I'll be up with
the foutre.

_FRANKTON and LOVEYET return._

FRANKTON. Do you call me a foutre, you rascal?

HUMPHRY. Call you a future! ha, ha, ha. I was a talking about something
that I was a going for to do some other time, sir.--Doesn't future magnify
some other time, eigh?

FRANKTON. The future signifies the time to come, to be sure.

HUMPHRY. Well, then, isn't I right? What argufies your signifies, or your
magnifies? There an't the toss up of a copper between 'um--I wou'dn't give
a leather button for the choice, as the old proverb goes.

FRANKTON. Harkee, Mr. Talkative, if you ever----

HUMPHRY. No, sir, never,--that I won't--no, no, you may be sure of that.

FRANKTON. Sure of what?

HUMPHRY. Nothing, sir; we can be sartin of nothing in this world, as Mr.
Thumpum says.

LOVEYET. Ha, ha, ha.

FRANKTON. Oh, what a precious numskull it is!

LOVEYET. [_To FRANKTON._] I have a letter here, which announces to my
father, my intention to leave the West-Indies the beginning of March, but I
miss'd of the expected conveyance--I have half a mind to send it yet. I
would not have him apprized of my arrival; for I wish to try if he would
know me;--and yet I long to embrace my aged and venerable parent.--Will you
do me the favour to take this letter to my father, Mr. Cubb? He lives at
number two hundred and fifty, in Queen-Street, in a three-story red brick
house.--I'll reward you for it.

HUMPHRY. As for your rewards, I'm above it, d' ye see: If I do it, I'll do
it without fear or reward, as the saying is; but if you think fit, you may
treat a body to the valuation of a mug or so. Don't you love ale? for they
says how the Yorkers is cursed fellows for strong beer.

LOVEYET. What a digression!

HUMPHRY. I scorn your words--'tis no transgression at all to drink
ale--Why, Parson Thumpum himself drinks ale.

LOVEYET. Well, will you carry the letter? You shall have as much strong
beer when you come back as you can stagger under.

HUMPHRY. Why, if I was for to have my beer a-board before I go, I shou'dn't
get top-heavy, as the saying is; for I can carry as much weight in my head
as e'er a he that wears a head, without staggering.

FRANKTON. I dare say you can; you have always plenty of that.

HUMPHRY. Yes, you're right--I know what you mean; I've got it here a
little,