pear, the stimulative effect is really surprising. In
the absence of these products of the vegetable kingdom, a hedge-stake,
taken directly after a meal, will do equally well.

Yours professionally,
SOLUBLE SALT, F.R.C.P.

* * * * *

AT THE WILD WEST.

(_A SKETCH AT EARL'S COURT._)

_The Orator's Opening Discourse_ (_as heard in the back rows_). Ladies
and Gentlemen, I desire to draw your attention to an important fact.
It will be my pleasure to introduce to you ... ("_The real American
popcorn, equally famous in Paris and London, tuppence each packet!"
from Vendor in gangway_) ... history and life of the ... (_"'Buffalo
Bill Puzzle,' one penny!" from another vendor behind_) ... impress
one fact upon your minds; this is not ... (_roar and rattle of
passing train_) ... in the ordinary or common acceptation of ...
(_"Puff-puff-puff!" from engine shunting trucks_) ... Many unthinking
persons have said ... (_Piercing and prolonged scream from same
engine._) This is not so. On the contrary ... (_Metallic bangs from
trucks._) Men and animals are ... ("_Programmes! Opera-glasses on
hire!_") ... purely the creatures of ...

[_Remainder of remarks hopelessly lost amidst the clank of
coupling chains, whistles, snorts and puffs from shunting
engine._

_An Old Lady in Audience._ He has such a beautiful clear voice,
we _ought_ to hear every word. If _I_ were Buffalo BILL, I should
positively insist on the trains keeping quiet while the Orator was
speaking!

_Orator_ (_during the Grand Processional Review_). A Troop of Arapahoe
Indians!

[_Band strikes up; a party of painted Indians gallop into
Arena, uttering little puppy-like barks._

_An Artistic Lady_ (_shuddering_). Look at that creature with a
raw pink body, and a pea-green face--it's too _frightful_, and such
_crude_ yellows! I _wish_ they could be taught to paint themselves
some _decent_ colour!

_Her Sister._ Really, dear, as far as _decency_ is concerned, I don't
exactly see what difference the mere _colour_ would make.

_Her Husband._ That isn't quite what EMILY meant. She'd like to
enamel 'em all in Art shades and drape Liberty scarves round 'em, like
terra-cotta drainpipes or wicker-chairs--eh, EMILY?

_Emily_ (_loftily_). Oh, my dear HENRY, I wasn't speaking to _you_. I
know what a contempt you have for all that makes a home beautiful!

_Henry._ Meaning Indians? My love, I respect them and admire the