un.
And now from stage and playbill disappears.
Now east, west, north, and south,
The quidnuncs are giving mouth,
Till the Manager would gladly close his ears.
Two companies, neither loth,
Seek his suffrages, and both
Have a _repertoire_ that half attracts, half scares.
He's aware it will need _nous_
To make choice. Meanwhile the House,
Is "Closed for Alterations and Repairs."

They may cheer, &c.

Much money must be spent
Ere the public is content.
Says the Manager, "By Jingo, I'm perplext.
Shall I keep on SALISBUREE,
Or engage old W.G.,
And what's the piece that I shall put on next?
Well, no more need be said,
Till July has fully sped
And August brings the Autumn Season's cares,
Then we'll learn the cast and play--
'Tis sufficient for to-day
That we've 'Closed for Alterations and Repairs.'

"They may cheer the Old Man hearty,
Brave BALFOUR, mild MCCARTHY,
This, that, or t'other party,
As it pleases 'em to do.
Their noise half drives me crazy,
The future's rather hazy,
But interest strong,
I trust, ere long,
Will crowd my House anew!"

* * * * *

OH, SAUNDERSON, MY COLONEL!

AIR--"_John Anderson, my Jo!_"

Oh, SAUNDERSON, my Colonel,
You're stout and eloquent,
But boding; as the raven.
Knock ninety-nine per cent.
From your Cassandra prophecies,
As bogeyish as eternal,
And you'll be nearer to the truth,
Brave SAUNDERSON, my Colonel!

Oh, SAUNDERSON, my Colonel,
Could you but pull together,
Orange and Green, a truce were seen
To bigotry and blether.
'Tis _they_ that keep the Emerald Isle
In pother so infernal.
Drop hate and fear, try love and trust,
Brave SAUNDERSON, my Colonel!

* * * * *

OBVIOUS.--The _Daily News_ reports the mysterious disappearance from
the Government Saw Mills at Portsmouth, of 2,570 feet of deal. "No one
can say," it is added, "what became of the wood." Why, it walked off
of course, with so many feet the temptation was irresistible.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "CLOSED FOR ALTERATIONS AND REPAIRS."

MR. PUNCH. "CHANGE OF ACTORS AND PROGRAMME, EH, MR. BULL?"

MR. JOHN BULL (_Manager and Proprietor_). "CAN'T TELL YET, MR.
PUNCH,--DON'T OPEN TILL AUGUST!"]

* * * *