t all. I shall be
_miserable_ till I see you safe back again!

_Mr. T._ (_who is not sure he doesn't share her feelings_). Oh well,
if you feel like _that_ about it, I won't--

_Mrs. T._ Oh, yes, do, I _want_ you to go--it will be so exciting for
you to see real Indians yelling and shooting all round.

_Mr. T._ (_thinking that it may be more exciting than pleasant_).
Might bring on one of my headaches, and there'll be such a smell of
gunpowder too. I hardly think, after all, it's worth while.

_Mrs. T._ If you feel in the least _nervous_ about it. (_Mr. T. denies
this indignantly._) Then go at once--you may never have the chance
again; only don't stay talking about it--go!

_Mr. T._ (_pulling himself together_). Very well, if you really wish
it.... Confound it! _Most_ annoying, really! (_Sits down relieved._)
They've started! It's all _your_ fault, if you hadn't kept me here
talking!

_Mrs. T._ (_humbly_). I _am_ so sorry--but there's another performance
in the evening; we might dine here, and then you could easily go on
the Coach afterwards if you're so anxious to!

_Mr. T._ And sit through the show twice in one day? No, good as it is,
I really--and I've some letters I must write after dinner, too.

[_Mrs. T. smiles to herself discreetly, satisfied with having
gained her point._

* * * * *

UNOPPOSED ELECTION.

On Saturday last, being the first day permissible under the statute,
the nomination of a Knight to serve in Parliament for the Shire of
Barks, was held in the county town. The proceedings were marked by
a pleasing unanimity, and an outburst of popular enthusiasm which
seriously tried the resources of the local police. There was only one
candidate--TOBY once more M.P. The nomination paper was signed by _Mr.
Punch_, Mr. GLADSTONE, Lord SALISBURY, and most of the Crowned Heads
of Europe.

The Sheriff inquired if it were desired to nominate any other
Gentleman. (_A Voice_--"_I should think not!_") There being no other
response, the Sheriff declared the Hon. Gentleman duly elected, and
said he would like to be permitted to forego his fees, if indeed any
were due.

[Illustration]

In response to loud calls from the assembled crowd, _Mr. Punch_
said he had great pleasure in recommending his young friend to the
suffrages of this important constituency. (_Cheers._) He called him
young, for though he had been on his (_Mr. Punch's_) establishment for
over fifty yea