led Canoeist with fear;
And the jubilant jobating voice,
With menaces meaning and manifold,
Flowed forth on a "snorter" clear and bold
(As when a party-procession rejoice
With drums, and trumpets, and with banners of gold),
Until the Canoeist's blood ran cold,
And over his paddle he crouched and rolled;
And he wished himself from that nook afar
(If it were but reading the evening star):
And the Swan he ruffled his plumes and hissed,
And with sounding buffets, which seldom missed,
He walloped into that paddler gay
(Bent on enjoying his holiday).
He smote him here, and he spanked him there,
Upset his "balance," rumpled his hair.
"I'll teach you," he cried, with pounding pinions,
"To come intruding in _my_ dominions!"
And the frightened flags, and the startled reeds,
And the willow-branches hoar and dank,
And the shaking rushes and wobbling weeds,
And the wave-worn horns of the echoing bank,
And the Grand Old Swan's admiring throng
(Who yelled at seeing him going so strong)
Were flooded and fluttered by that Stentor song!

* * * * *

THE PROPOSED OLD ETONIAN BANQUET.--"_Floreat Etona!_" by all means,
and may "HENRY's holy shade" never be less! But doesn't it seem rather
like a contradiction in terms, for Old Etonians to sit down to an
Eaten Dinner?--Yours, once removed,

A SIXTH-FORMOSUS PUER.

* * * * *

[Illustration: FORM!

"GOOD HEAVENS! WHAT A SWELL! WHAT IS IT? TEA-FIGHT? WEDDING
BREAKFAST?"

"OH NO; ONLY GOING TO MY TAILOR'S. _MUST_ BE DECENTLY DRESSED WHEN
I GO TO SEE _HIM_. HE'S SO BEASTLY CRITICAL!"]

* * * * *

ABOUT THE COURT.

At the Royal Court Theatre, which, as I read on the illustrated
House Programme, is "Licensed by the London County Council to the
Proprietors, Mrs. JOHN WOOD and Mr. A. CHUDLEIGH,"--is the LORD
CHAMBERLAIN out of it in this quarter? (how can there be a Court
without a Lord Chamberlain?), and, "under which king, Bezonian?" Was
it in the days of _The Happy Land?_--but no matter. To resume. At the
aforesaid Court Theatre is now being performed an original Farce,
in Three Acts, written by Mr. R.R. LUMLEY. Ah! Ah! LUMLEY, this
isn't quite up to your other piece, _Aunt Jack._ Mrs. JOHN WOOD
is invaluable, and keeps the game alive throughout; while ARTHUR
CECIL's _Duke of Donoway_--not a Comedy Duke, but a Duke in farcical
circumstan