dam HELSETH enters through
another door._

_Madam H._ The cab, Miss--not here! (_Looks out._) Out together--at
this time of night--upon my--_not_ on the garden-seat? (_Looks out of
window._) My goodness! _what_ is that white thing on the bridge--the
_Horse_ at last! (_Shrieks aloud._) And those two sinful creatures
running home!

_Enter ROSMER and REBECCA, _out of breath._

_Rosmer_ (_scarcely able to get the words out_). It's no use,
REBECCA--we must put it off till another evening. We can't be expected
to jump off a footbridge which already has a White Horse on it. And,
if it comes to that, why should we jump at all? I know now that I
really _have_ ennobled you, which was all _I_ wanted. What would
be the good of recovering faith in my mission at the bottom of a
mill-pond? No, REBECCA--(_lays his hand on her head_)--there is no
judge over us, and therefore--

_Reb._ (_interrupting gravely_). We will bind ourselves over in our
own recognisances to come up for judgment when called upon.

[_Madam HELSETH holds on to a chair-back, REBECCA finishes
the antimacassar calmly as Curtain falls._

* * * * *

A GRAND OLD WETTERUN!

I ain't bin werry well lately, and, to crown the hole, I was cort in
the Lizzard, I think, as they called it, on that awful Munday nite,
and that was pretty nearly a settler for both my old bones and my
breth, and might ha' bin quite so, if one of the werry kindest Members
of the old Copperashun as I nos on, who had bin a dining with a
jolly party on 'em, hadn't kindly directed my notise to about a harf
bottle-full of werry fine old Port, with the remarkabel kind words,
"That's just about what you wants, Mr. ROBERT, to take you ome safely
this most orful nite!" And so it were, and I didn't waste a single
drop on it.

[Illustration: The "Tipper's" Strike.]

However, I was obligated to have a good long rest, which I took out
mostly in sleep; but, jest as I was preparing to set out for the
"Grand Hotel," in comes my Son; and he says to me, "Guvnor," says
he--I notise as he allers calls me Guvnor when he wants me to do
sumthink--"I wants you to do me the favour to ask _Mr. Punch_ for
to do you a favour." "Why, what do you mean?" says I. "Why, this is
what I means," says he. "About the grandest feller as ewer in the
hole world gave up fifty years of his useful life to trying to make
hundreds of stupid boys into clever boys, and hundreds of bad boy