tery about this. Please explain it.

Secondly, I see placards and advertisements all over the place
announcing that "the Stewards Stand." Now this fairly beats me. Why
should the stewards stand? They are presumably men of a certain age,
some of them must be of a certain corpulence, and it seems to me
a refinement of cruelty that these faithful officials, of whom, I
believe, the respected Mayor of Henley is one, should be compelled
to refrain from seats during the whole of the Regatta. It may be
necessary for them to set an example of true British endurance to the
crowds who attend the Regatta, but in that case surely they ought to
be paid for the performance of their duties.

Thirdly, I have heard a good deal of talk about the Visitors' Cup.
Being anxious to test its merits, I went to one of the principal
hotels here, and ordered the waiter to bring me a quart of Visitors'
Cup, and to be careful to ice it well. He seemed puzzled, but
went away to execute my orders. After an absence of ten minutes he
returned, and informed me, with the Manager's compliments, that they
could not provide me with what I wanted, but that their Champagne-cup
was excellent. I gave the fellow a look, and departed. Perhaps this is
only another example of the asinine and anserous dunderheadedness of
these crass provincials. Kindly reply, _by wire_, about all the three
points I have mentioned.

I have been here for a week, but have, as yet, not been fortunate
enough to see any crews. Indeed, I doubt if there are any here. A good
many maniacs disport themselves every day in rickety things which look
something like gigantic needles, and other people have been riding
along the bank, and, very naturally, abusing them loudly for their
foolhardy recklessness. But no amount of abuse causes them to desist.
I have puzzled my brains to know what it all means, but I confess I
can't make it out. I fancy I know a boat when I see one, and of course
these ridiculous affairs can't be boats.

Be good enough to send me, by return, at least L100. It's a very
difficult and expensive thing to support the dignity of your paper in
this town. Whiskey is very dear, and a great deal goes a very short
way.

Yours sincerely,

THE MAN AT THE OAR.

_Henley-on-Thames, July 4_.

* * * * *

A COMMON COMPLAINT.

(_BY A DAILY VICTIM._)

[Illustration]

O Editors, who earn your daily bread
By giving us all kinds of information,