have had the
courage to proceed with my plan had I known what was in store for me.

About this time my conservator called to see me. Of course, I told him
all about my cruel experiences at the private institution. My account
surprised and distressed him. I also told him that I knew for a fact
that similar conditions existed at the State Hospital, as I had heard
convincing rumors to that effect. He urged me to behave myself and
remain in the ward where I was, which ward, as I admitted, was all that
one could desire--provided one had schooled himself to desire that sort
of thing.

The fact that I was under lock and key and behind what were virtually
prison bars in no way gave me a sense of helplessness. I firmly
believed that I should find it easy to effect my escape and reach home
for the Thanksgiving Day celebration. And, furthermore, I knew that,
should I reach home, I should not be denied my portion of the good
things to eat before being returned to the hospital. Being under the
spell of an intense desire to investigate the violent ward, I concluded
that the time for action had come. I reasoned, too, that it would be
easier and safer to escape from that ward--which was on a level with
the ground--than from a ward three stories above it. The next thing I
did was to inform the attendants (not to mention several of the
patients) that within a day or two I should do something to cause my
removal to it. They of course did not believe that I had any idea of
deliberately inviting such a transfer. My very frankness disarmed them.

On the evening of November 21st, I went from room to room collecting
all sorts of odds and ends belonging to other patients. These I
secreted in my room. I also collected a small library of books,
magazines and newspapers. After securing all the booty I dared, I
mingled with the other patients until the time came for going to bed.
The attendants soon locked me in my junk shop and I spent the rest of
the night setting it in disorder. My original plan had been to
barricade the door during the night, and thus hold the doctors and
attendants at bay until those in authority had accepted my ultimatum,
which was to include a Thanksgiving visit at home. But before morning I
had slightly altered my plan. My sleepless night of activity had made
me ravenously hungry, and I decided that it would be wiser not only to
fill my stomach, but to lay by other supplies of food before submitting
to a siege. Accordin