tely for
the public--is quite another. Though I wrote letters with ease, I soon
discovered that I knew nothing of the vigils or methods of writing a
book. Even then I did not attempt to predict just when I should begin
to commit my story to paper. But, a month later, a member of the firm
in whose employ I was made a remark which acted as a sudden spur. One
day, while discussing the business situation with me, he informed me
that my work had convinced him that he had made no mistake in
re-employing me when he did. Naturally I was pleased. I had vindicated
his judgment sooner than I had hoped. Aside from appreciating and
remembering his compliment, at the time I paid no more attention to it.
Not until a fortnight later did the force of his remark exert any
peculiar influence on my plans. During that time it apparently
penetrated to some subconscious part of me--a part which, on prior
occasions, had assumed such authority as to dominate my whole being.
But, in this instance, the part that became dominant did not exert an
unruly or even unwelcome influence. Full of interest in my business
affairs one week, the next I not only had no interest in them, but I
had begun even to dislike them. From a matter-of-fact man of business I
was transformed into a man whose all-absorbing thought was the
amelioration of suffering among the afflicted insane. Travelling on
this high plane of ideal humanitarianism, I could get none but a
distorted and dissatisfying view of the life I must lead if I should
continue to devote my time to the comparatively deadening routine of
commercial affairs.

Thus it was inevitable that I should focus my attention on my
humanitarian project. During the last week of December I sought
ammunition by making a visit to two of the institutions where I had
once been a patient. I went there to discuss certain phases of the
subject of reform with the doctors in authority. I was politely
received and listened to with a degree of deference which was, indeed,
gratifying. Though I realized that I was rather intense on the subject
of reform, I did not have that clear insight into my state of mind
which the doctors had. Indeed, I believe that only those expert in the
detection of symptoms of a slightly disturbed mental condition could
possibly have observed anything abnormal about me at that time. Only
when I discussed my fond project of reform did I betray an abnormal
stress of feeling. I could talk as convincingly about