visitors had to do all the talking. My eldest
brother, whom I shall refer to hereafter as my conservator, called
often. He seldom failed to use one phrase which worried me.

"You are looking better and getting stronger," he would say. "We shall
straighten you out yet."

To be "straightened out" was an ambiguous phrase which might refer to
the end of the hangman's rope or to a fatal electric shock.

I preferred to be let alone, and the assistant physician in charge of
my case, after several ineffectual attempts to engage me in
conversation, humored my persistent taciturnity. For more than a year
his only remarks to me were occasional conventional salutations.
Subsequent events have led me to doubt the wisdom of his policy.

For one year no further attention was paid to me than to see that I had
three meals a day, the requisite number of baths, and a sufficient
amount of exercise. I was, however, occasionally urged by an attendant
to write a letter to some relative, but that, of course, I refused to
do. As I shall have many hard things to say about attendants in
general, I take pleasure in testifying that, so long as I remained in a
passive condition, those at this institution were kind, and at times
even thoughtful. But there came a time when diplomatic relations with
doctors and attendants became so strained that war promptly ensued.

It was no doubt upon the gradual, but sure improvement in my physical
condition that the doctors were relying for my eventual return to
normality. They were not without some warrant for this. In a way I had
become less suspicious, but my increased confidence was due as much to
an increasing indifference to my fate as to an improvement in health.
And there were other signs of improved mental vigor. I was still
watchful, however, for a chance to end my life, and, but for a series
of fortunate circumstances, I do not doubt that my choice of evils
would have found tragic expression in an overt act.

Having convinced myself that most of my associates were really insane,
and therefore (as I believed) disqualified as competent witnesses in a
court of law, I would occasionally engage in conversation with a few
whose evident incompetency seemed to make them safe confidants. One, a
man who during his life had more than once been committed to an
institution, took a very evident interest in me and persisted in
talking to me, often much against my will. His persistent
inquisitiveness seemed to su