t lamps I knew I could
tell it easily.

Directly in came a drummer for a grocery house, and began telling how
much his sales had been in that town: To one grocer a car-load each of
rice, nutmegs, cinnamon and pepper, besides several hundred barrels of
flour and as many chests of tea. I told him I didn't doubt his word, but
would thank him to give me back my hat. He discovered his mistake, and
was about to trade back, when I happened to think of what a splendid
chance I had for making a little raise. As he handed me my hat I said:

"Thunderation! Do you suppose I am going to let you give me back my hat
with that big grease-spot on it? Not much, sir. Have you been down in
some grocer's cellar with my hat on? Now, sir, you can either give me
five dollars to buy a new hat, or give me one dollar and we'll trade
hats."

He willingly handed over the dollar, and after apologizing, offered to
treat in order to quiet me down.

I then made a bee-line for the nearest drugstore, where I ordered a half
gallon of the "Incomprehensible" to be prepared for the next day.

The old valise I had was a large-sized one, in which I carried my
clothing; but I made room for the polish, and started out the next day
on foot, arriving at a small town late that night, with four dollars in
cash, and some stock on hand.

The following morning I started back to where I had left the old horse
and wagon. Arriving there, I hitched up and started through the country,
selling polish to the farmers. It took about all I could rake and scrape
to keep my family, myself and the old horse eating.

While on this trip as I was passing through Wapakanetta, Ohio, a
familiar voice came from a crowd of lookers-on saying:

"Halloo, Johnston, where you going?"

And an old acquaintance of mine came running to the wagon and hastily
explained that he had the agency of a valuable patent which he was then
trying to sell County and State rights in and wanted me to join him. I
told him that I had promised my mother never to sell another Patent
right, and then asked what success he had met with. He said not any yet,
but----

"But," I interrupted, "I suppose you have succeeded in spending what
money you had, and are now broke."

"Yes, that's it exactly."

"Well, Frank, misery likes company. Get in here and we'll travel
together."

He did so and we had quite a siege of it. We bought another valise and I
immediately began educating him in selling polish. He made a