ungry. When I came up and said
"it's about dinner-time, isn't it?" he answered: "Great Caesar! it's
about time to eat, anyhow, and I have got to have a square meal once
more."

"Well, come with me, Johnny, I'll take you to a nice place."

He followed, and as we passed into the restaurant the cashier said:

"How are you to-day Mr. Johnston?"

We took a seat at one of the tables, when Johnny began watching me
closely. Directly one of the waiters came to us and said:

"Mr. Johnston, we have your favorite dish, to-day, and it's very fine."

"Very well, then bring me a New England dinner."

At this Johnny's eyes fairly glistened, and he turned ghastly pale. Then
jumping to his feet and pounding the table with his fist, he cried out:

"Johnston, you're a ---- fraud! and have nearly succeeded in starving me
to death, and ---- me if I----"

"But, sit down--sit down; let me explain--let me explain."

He resumed his seat, when I began with:

"You see, Johnny, I thought you were partial to boarding-houses, and as
everything was neat and clean and nice and tid----"

"Oh, tidy be ----! Cuss your nice old lady, and her good conversation,
and all the ---- well-bred kids. I'll be cussed if you'll ever come any
such smart tricks on me again. The best will be none too good for me,
hereafter. I thought all the while that you were feeling mighty gay for
a man living on wind and water, and sleeping on a bunch of straw. And I
suppose, if the truth were known, you slipped off up to some hotel every
night after I got to sleep, and staid till five o'clock in the morning,
and then returned in time to make a ---- fool of me. But look out for
breakers hereafter. No more clean, nice, tidy boarding-houses for me, no
matter how home-like it is, nor how good a talker the old woman is. I am
through--through forever, even though all the well-bred children in
Missouri starve for the want of income from boarders, I am going to move
to-day."

We then moved to a respectable hotel, where both were delighted with the
wonderful change.

After leaving Kansas City we remained together for some time, but Johnny
made no improvement in his manner of living till finally his money was
gone and his stock was reduced to a mere handful of goods. At last one
Saturday afternoon we went out to make a sale and I cleaned out the last
dollars' worth and then sold the trunks and declared the business
defunct.

Johnny protested, but I argued with him that the