to call thi sich names onny moor,
an if tha'll nobbut let me help thi, Mally love----"

"Aw'll gie thi 'Mally love!' Aw suppooas tha thinks aw havn't enuff to
do, soa tha mun come here to aggravate an hinder me all tha can!"

"Tha shouldn't ha claated me across th' chops wi that weet
hippen,--that's noa way to help a chap's reformation."

"Aw'll hit thi wi summat harder nor that if tha doesn't put on thi hat
an ger aght. It's noa use thee tawkin' to me abaat reformin', for it's
too lat on i'th day. If it wor possible to mak thi into a daycent chap
ther's nubdy'd know thi. Even little Jerrymier coom in tother day to ax
for thi becoss he wanted to goa for a walk, an when aw tell'd him tha
wor up stairs, he sed, 'Is mi grondad reight in his heead to-day?' Even
he knows thi!"

"Aw've done wi Jerrymier for ivver an aw hooap tha'll nivver mention his
name agean in a haase o' mine."

"This haase is mine as it happens, an awst nivver ax thee whose name
aw've to mention. A'a! awd be ashamed o' misen if aw wor like thee,
comin an makkin a bother like this th' furst thing in a mornin."

"Aw didn't want to mak onny bother,--aw wanted to help thi, Mally love,
but----"

"Ger aght o' this hoil or' aw'll mash th' peggy ovver thi heead! Tha
gurt maddlin! Tak this shillin an goa an see if tha can mak thisen a
bigger fooil nor tha art!"

"Well, aw'll tak it, tho' aw had meant to help thi a bit, but it seems
tha'rt too thrang to help a chap wi his reformation. Gooid bye, Mally
love, an----" But he just managed so slip aght o'th door i' time to miss
th' foir shool at shoo flung at his heead.

"Aw'll put off reformin an tryin to act like aw used to do; for aw get
noa encouragement. Its noa use tryin to suit a woman for it cannot be
done. Aw see nowt for it but to goa on i'th same old way, an after all,
old fowk can nivver be young agean. Well, ther's one comfort,--shoo's
gein me a shillin. Vartue is its own reward."

Sheffield Smook.

Mister Sydney Algernon Horne, wor a weel to do chap, as yo'll gather
thro' his name, for parents dooant give ther child sich fine names
unless thers a bit o' brass behind em. If owd Horne, Sydney's feyther,
had been a poor warkin man, he'd ha called th' lad Tom, or Bill, or
happen Mike; but as he wor a gentleman, wi Bank shares, an Cottage haase
property, he dubbed th' lad Sydney Algernon as aw've telled yo. Aw think
its nobbut reight at aw should tell yo at this rewl abaat names doesn't
a