r he'd getten an idea into his heead, at he
couldn't possibly live baat bacca--mornin, nooin an neet, he wor hardly
ivver withaat awther a pipe or a cigar in his maath, an tho' fowk tell'd
him at he smooked a deeal too mich, it wor noa gooid.

"Aw couldn't live baat a bit o' bacca," he used to say, "an when th' day
cooms 'at aw may'nt smook, aw shall'nt care ha sooin they shut me up in
a box, an cart me off to th' burryin graand."

Soa yo can easy imagine 'at wi sich sentiments as these, he didn't
leeave off smookin as ha fowk tawked. At last Tuesdy coom, an as th'
best train for Brummagem left at five o'clock in th' afternooin, Sydney
decided he'd goa by that; an as its a longish gait, ov cooarse he tuk
jolly gooid care to have plenty o' smookin materials wi him.

When he gate to th' stashun, he faand aght to his disgust, 'at th' only
reekin hoil on all th' train wor full, soa he gate into another carriage
an decided to mak that into one, for he'd getten some slips o' paper in
his pocket wi "_Smookin_" on, soa as he could stick one on if it wor
required, haivver has nubdy else got in wi him, he didn't bother abaat
puttin th' slip up. At last th' train started an glided aght o' th'
leeted stashun into th' darkness aghtside, for it wor winter time, an a
thick muggy afternooin, soa he lit his pipe an started readin a "Clock
Almanac" at he'd bowt--an what wi readin th' stories, an thinkin abaat
ha sooin he'd see Mabel, an fillin his pipe, he didn't nooatice where
he'd getten too; when all ov a sudden th' train started gooin slower an
slower, an finally stopt at a bit ov a road-side stashun, abaat as big
as one o' them hot pay hoils whear lads caar ov a neet to spend ther
coppers in.

As it wor a express he knew it didn't owt to stop there, an just as he
wor wonderin what ther wor to do, th' door wor oppened an a little owd
gentleman wi spectacles on, wor tumbled into th' same compartment whear
he wor, an a leather bag wor shoved in after him--a porter touched his
hat an shaated aght "All reet!" th' door wor slammed too, th' whistle
blew, an th' train started off agean.

"Phew! Yor smookin, sir!" sed th' owd chap as sooin as he'd getten his
breeath an lukt raand.

"Eah!" sed Sydney, showin a cigar at he'd leeted not a minnit befooar.

"Aw insist on yor puttin it aght instantly," sed th' owd feller.

Sydney wornt used to bein ordered abaat like this, soa he sed:

"Oh, yo insist on it, do yo, owd buffer, but suppooas