he part o' the people; the first is, when general leeberty an'
public happiness are conformable to your ain parteecular feelings o'
the moral an' poleetical fetness o' things: the second is, when they
happen to be, as it were, in a state of exceetabeelity, an' ye think
ye can get a gude price for your commodity, by flingin' in a leetle
seasoning o' pheelanthropy an' republican speerit; the third is, when
ye think ye can bully the menestry into gieing ye a place or a pansion
to hau'd your din, an' in that case, ye point an attack against them
within the pale o' the law; an' if they tak nae heed o' ye, ye open a
stronger fire; an' the less heed they tak, the mair ye bawl; an' the
mair factious ye grow, always within the pale o' the law, till they
send a plenipotentiary to treat wi' ye for yoursel, an' then the mair
popular ye happen to be, the better price ye fetch.

_Squire Headlong._
Off with your heeltaps.

_Mr Cranium._
I perfectly agree with Mr Mac Laurel in his definition of self-love
and disinterestedness: every man's actions are determined by his
peculiar views, and those views are determined by the organisation of
his skull. A man in whom the organ of benevolence is not developed,
cannot be benevolent: he in whom it is so, cannot be otherwise. The
organ of self-love is prodigiously developed in the greater number of
subjects that have fallen under my observation.

_Mr Escot._
Much less I presume, among savage than civilised men, who, _constant
only to the love of self, and consistent only in their aim to deceive,
are always actuated by the hope of personal advantage, or by the dread
of personal punishment_[5.2].

_Mr Cranium._
Very probably.

_Mr Escot._
You have, of course, found very copious specimens of the organs of
hypocrisy, destruction, and avarice.

_Mr Cranium._
Secretiveness, destructiveness, and covetiveness. You may add, if you
please, that of constructiveness.

_Mr Escot._
Meaning, I presume, the organ of building; which I contend to be not a
natural organ of the _featherless biped_.

_Mr Cranium._
Pardon me: it is here.--(_As he said these words, he produced a skull
from his pocket, and placed it on the table to the great surprise of
the company._)--This was the skull of Sir Christopher Wren. You
observe this protuberance--(_The skull was handed round the table._)

_Mr Escot._
I contend that the original unsophisticated man was by no means
constr