of swimming for
the opportunity of tempering with a copious libation of wine the
unnatural frigidity introduced into his stomach by the extraordinary
intrusion of water, an element which he had religiously determined
should never pass his lips, but of which, on these occasions, he was
sometimes compelled to swallow no inconsiderable quantity. This
circumstance alone, of the various disasters that befell him,
occasioned him any permanent affliction, and he accordingly noted the
day in his pocket-book as a _dies nefastus_, with this simple
abstract, and brief chronicle of the calamity: _Mem. Swallowed two or
three pints of water_: without any notice whatever of the concomitant
circumstances. These days, of which there were several, were set apart
in Headlong Hall for the purpose of anniversary expiation; and, as
often as the day returned on which the squire had swallowed water, he
not only made a point of swallowing a treble allowance of wine
himself, but imposed a heavy mulct on every one of his servants who
should be detected in a state of sobriety after sunset: but their
conduct on these occasions was so uniformly exemplary, that no
instance of the infliction of the penalty appears on record.

The squire and Mr Milestone, as we have already said, had set out
immediately after breakfast to examine the capabilities of the
scenery. The object that most attracted Mr Milestone's admiration was
a ruined tower on a projecting point of rock, almost totally overgrown
with ivy. This ivy, Mr Milestone observed, required trimming and
clearing in various parts: a little pointing and polishing was also
necessary for the dilapidated walls: and the whole effect would be
materially increased by a plantation of spruce fir, interspersed with
cypress and juniper, the present rugged and broken ascent from the
land side being first converted into a beautiful slope, which might be
easily effected by blowing up a part of the rock with gunpowder,
laying on a quantity of fine mould, and covering the whole with an
elegant stratum of turf.

Squire Headlong caught with avidity at this suggestion; and, as he had
always a store of gunpowder in the house, for the accommodation of
himself and his shooting visitors, and for the supply of a small
battery of cannon, which he kept for his private amusement, he
insisted on commencing operations immediately. Accordingly, he bounded
back to the house, and very speedily returned, accompanied by the
little