And being foiled of all his high intent
Now minds the shop and is a Volunteer,
Drilling on Sundays with the rest of them;
He too, amid his hoards of cigarettes,
Is void of matches as he's full of veins.
So here's a good match in a naughty world,
And what to do with it I do not know,
Save that somehow, when all the place is still,
It shall explode and spurt and flame and burn
Slowly away, not having thus achieved
The lighting of a pipe or any act
Of usefulness, but having spent itself
In lonely grandeur as befits the last
Of all the varied matches I have known.

* * * * *

OUR SAMSONS.

"Wanted at once.--Reliable Man for carrying off motor
lorry."--_Clitheroe Advertiser_.

* * * * *

"To-day the man possesses a second tumb, serviceable for all
ordinary purposes."--_Belfast Evening Telegraph_.

In these days of restricted rations it seems a superflous luxury.

* * * * *

"Diamond Brooch, 15 cwt., set with three blue white diamonds; make a
handsome present; L9 9s."--_Derby Daily Telegraph_.

It seems a lot for the money; but personally we would sooner have the
same weight of coals.

* * * * *

THE WAY DOWN.

SYDNEY SMITH, or NAPOLEON or MARCUS AURELIUS (somebody about that time)
said that after ten days any letter would answer itself. You see what
he meant. Left to itself your invitation from the Duchess to lunch next
Tuesday is no longer a matter to worry about by Wednesday morning. You
were either there or not there; it is unnecessary to write now and say
that a previous invitation from the PRIME MINISTER--and so on. It was
NAPOLEON'S idea (or Dr. JOHNSON'S or MARK ANTONY'S--one of that circle)
that all correspondence can be treated in this manner.

I have followed these early Masters (or whichever one it was) to the
best of my ability. At any given moment in the last few years there have
been ten letters that I absolutely _must_ write, thirty which I _ought_
to write, and fifty which any other person in my position _would_ have
written. Probably I have written two. After all, when your profession
is writing, you have some excuse on returning home in the evenings for
demanding a change of occupation. No doubt if I were a coal-heaver by
day, my wife would see to the fire after dinner while I wrote letters.
As it is, she does t