We need a better
scientific library. (_they are leaving now_) Oh, we simply must have
more money. The whole thing is fairly bursting its shell.

DORIS: (_venturing in cautiously from the other side, looking back,
beckoning_) They've gone.

FUSSIE: Sure?

DORIS: Well, are they here? And I saw them, I tell you--they went up to
science.

FUSSIE: (_moving the_ SENATOR'S _hat on the table_) But they'll come
back.

DORIS: What if they do? We're only looking at a book. (_running her hand
along the books_) Matthew Arnold.

(_Takes a paper from_ FUSSIE, _puts it in the book. They are bent with
giggling as_ HORACE _returns_.)

HORACE: For the love o' Pete, what's the joke? (_taking the book from
the helpless girl_) Matthew Arnold. My idea of nowhere to go for a
laugh. When I wrote my theme on him last week he was so dry I had to go
out and get a Morton Sundee (_the girls are freshly attacked, though all
of this in a subdued way, mindful of others in the library_) Say, how'd
you get that way?

DORIS: Now, Horace, don't you _tell_.

HORACE: What'd I tell, except--(_seeing the paper_) Um hum--what's this?

DORIS: (_trying to get it from him_) Horace, now _don't_ you (_a
tussle_) You great strong mean thing! Fussie! Make him _stop_.

(_She gets the paper by tearing it_.)

HORACE: My dad's around here--showing the college off to a politician.
If you don't come across with that sheet of mystery, I'll back you both
out there (_starts to do it_) and--

DORIS: Horace! You're just _horrid_.

HORACE: Sure I'm horrid. That's the way I want to be. (_takes the paper,
reads_)

'To Eben
You are the idol of my dreams
I worship from afar.'
What is this?

FUSSIE: Now, listen, Horace, and don't you _tell_. You know Eben Weeks.
He's the homeliest man in school. Wouldn't you say so?

HORACE: Awful jay. Like to get some of the jays out of here.

DORIS: But listen. Of course, no girl would _look_ at him. So we've
thought up the most _killing_ joke, (_stopped by giggles from herself
and_ FUSSIE) Now, he hasn't handed in his Matthew Arnold dope. I heard
old Mac hold him up for it--and what'd you think he said? That he'd been
_ploughing_. Said he was trying to run a farm and go to college at the
same time! Isn't it a _scream_?

HORACE: We oughta--make it more unpleasant for some of those jays. Gives
the school a bad name.

FUSSIE: But, listen, Horace, honest--you'll just _die_. He said he was
going to get the book this a