e employs himself in gathering words to commence talking
again. And scarcely has the speaker finished his utterance ere he
begins and goes on at a rate that taxes both the ears and patience of
his listener. At the festive board he is not content to do one thing at
a time. He fills his mouth with food for his stomach, and with windy
words for the company; which two acts done at the same time prevent
necessary mastication, and produce a temporary collision of the contrary
elements in his guttural organs.

Monopolist is a talker with whom I am somewhat acquainted. I have on
different occasions met with him, and am, therefore, prepared to speak
of him as I have found him.

Some fifteen or sixteen years ago, as my memory serves, in the middle of
a severe winter, I met this gentleman as I was going to see a friend
about some business of pressing importance. I told him my business
required haste, and he must excuse me stopping just then. But taking me
by the hand, he held on until he was fairly on the track of talking.
What he talked about I cannot remember, though I am pretty sure there
was very little connection or sense in what he said. He spoke in such a
rapid manner that all I could say was "Yes," "No," "Ah," "Eh," "Indeed,"
"Is it possible?" and some of these, too, only half uttered because of
the rapid flow of his words in my ears. I did try once to make a remark
in response to a question he hurriedly asked; but I had scarcely spoken
three syllables (being slow of speech as I am) when he began at an
express rate to tell a story of a friend of his, in which I felt no
more interest than the man in the moon. I remember how I shivered with
cold; shuffled to keep myself warm, and made frequent attempts to leave
him, while with one hand he held the button of my coat, and with the
other wiped the perspiration from his brow. I finally took advantage of
a suspense while replacing his handkerchief; so abruptly wishing him
"good-bye," I went on my way, leaving him to resume his discourse to
himself. How long he stood talking after I left him he never told me.

One morning, not long ago, when in a studious mood upon a subject I was
anxious to complete, my wife informed me a certain gentleman had called
to see me. On entering the room, I saw, to my inner sorrow, the very
identical person who, above all others, I cared the least to see at that
time. Had he possessed a grain of ordinary discernment, which the
Monopolist does not, he