with all his intelligence and natural communicativeness, was placed in
the same dilemma. Neither of us was quick enough to compete with him.
Everybody, in fact, was crowded out by his incessant talking; and, after
all, what did it amount to?

'Talking, he knew not why, and car'd not what.'"

"I think equally as strong as you do, Professor, respecting him, and I
am determined the first opportunity I have to lay before him a few
counsels, which if he take will be of service to him in the correction
of his great fault."

My reader must not think the conduct of Monopolist, as above described,
peculiar to the times and occasions mentioned. I have only spoken of him
as he appeared to me. I do not speak for any one else. Yet if so
disposed I could relate facts heard from others equal to, if not
surpassing, those given above.

As I have promised to give Monopolist a little advice, I will now enter
upon my task. I hope he will mortify that talking member of his body for
a few moments while I am discharging this necessary duty. After I have
done he may speak on to his heart's content, that is, in my absence.

* * * * *

Mr. Monopolist,--It is an old maxim that a man has two ears and but one
mouth, to teach him that he should hear twice as much as he should talk.
This is a very wise maxim, and worthy your serious meditation. You have
doubtless heard it before, but not attended to it. Would it not be much
to your credit in company, and much to the comfort of those with whom
you converse, if you allowed this maxim to have its due weight upon your
mind? Common sense, if such you have, must certainly intimate when you
exceed the bounds of propriety in the volume of your talk. How would you
like another to impose his talk upon you to the extent you impose your
talk upon him? When you talk I have noticed you are so pleased with
yourself as to think very little of what you say, or of how people hear.
If you talked about fifty or seventy-five per cent. less than you do,
you would be welcomed into the circles of society with fifty or
seventy-five per cent. greater pleasure than you are. Do not imagine,
because people _seem_ to listen, therefore they _like_ to hear you talk.
It is nothing of the kind. They must at least have a _show_ of good
behaviour. Were they to forget their manners in being listless, as you
do in talking so much, there would be an end to all decorum. (Do not be
impatient. Do be q