-_"

"She can't remember it. She's thinking of her lover. She wants to kiss
her lover." Then _They_ said gross things and I could not go on. I got
up from my knees, heartbroken, and came away.

* * * * *

_Thursday night._

I thought I should never be happy again, but whatever the future holds
for me of darkness and sadness, I have had one radiantly happy day.
Christopher telephoned this morning and arrived half an hour later with
an armful of roses. He took me to luncheon, then for a drive in the
Park, then to tea at the Plaza where we danced to delicious music, and
finally to dinner and the theater. He would not leave me. And over and
over again he asked me to marry him. He will not hear of anything but
that I am to be his wife. He loves me, he worships me, he trusts me
absolutely. Nothing that has happened makes the slightest difference to
him. Dr. Owen is going to cure me in a few weeks, there is no doubt
about it, Christopher says, and anyhow, he loves me.

If I were in Europe now I'd make a pilgrimage to the shrine of some
saint and heap up offerings of flowers. I _must_ do something to make
others happy; my heart is overflowing with gratitude!

I thrilled with pride as I walked beside my lover on the Avenue this
afternoon. He looked so tall and splendid in his uniform. I love his
eyes--his shoulders--everything about him. My Christopher!

I am to give him his answer within a week, but--_what answer can I give
him?_

* * * * *

_Friday morning._

Alas! I have paid for my happiness--it was written, it had to be. I have
lived through a night that cannot be described. Seraphine's prophetic
words have come true. Horror! Terror! I cannot bear it any longer. It is
quite impossible for me to bear it any longer. I have sent for
Seraphine, begging her to come to me at once--this afternoon, this
evening, any time tonight, before I sleep again. I would sooner die than
endure another such night.

* * * * *

_Saturday morning._

Seraphine did not get my note until late, but in spite of a snow-storm,
she came to me and stayed all night. Dear Seraphine! She spends her life
helping and comforting people in distress. She sees nothing but trouble
from morning till night, yet she is always cheerful and jolly. She says
God wants her to laugh and grow fat, so she does.

We talked for hours and I told her everything--or nearly