such a shop beneath the skies,
Because _he_ does not advertise!
While I with pleasure contemplate
That I'm an advertiser great.

The secret of my fortune lies
In one small fact, which I may state,
Too many tradesmen learn too late,
If I have goods, I advertise.
Then people come
And people go
In constant streams,
For people know
That he who has good wares to sell
Will surely advertise them well;
And proudly I reiterate,
I am an advertiser great!

THE FAMOUS MULLIGAN BALL

BY FRANK L. STANTON

Did ever you hear of the Mulligan ball--the Mulligan ball so fine,
Where we formed in ranks, and danced on planks, and swung 'em along
the line?
Where the first Four Hundred of the town moved at the music's call?
There was never a ball in the world at all--like the famous Mulligan
ball!

Town was a bit of a village then, and never a house or shed
From street to street and beat to beat was higher than Mulligan's
head!
And never a theater troup came round to 'liven us, spring or fall,
And so Mulligan's wife she says, says she: "Plaze God, I'll give a
ball!"

And she did--God rest her, and save her, too! (I'm liftin' to her
my hat!)
And never a ball at all, at all, was half as fine as that!
Never no invitations sent--nothin' like that at all;
But the whole Four Hundred combed their hair and went to the Mulligan
ball.

And "Take yer places!" says Mulligan, "an' dance till you shake the
wall!"
And I led Mrs. Mulligan off as the lady that gave the ball;
And we whirled around till we shook the ground, with never a stop at
all;
And I kicked the heels from my boots--please God--at the famous
Mulligan ball.

Mulligan jumped till he hit the roof, and the head of him went clean
through it!
The shingles fell on the floor pell-mell! Says Mulligan: "Faith, I
knew it!"
But we kept right on when the roof was gone, with never a break at
all;
We danced away till the break o' day at the famous Mulligan ball.

But the best of things must pass away like the flowers that fade and
fall,
And it's fifty years, as the records say, since we danced at
Mulligan's ball;
And the new Four Hundred never dance like the Mulligans danced--at
all,
And