owski, to be well
Tshaken before taken, will be an effective remedy for a torpid liver,
and the man or woman who suffers from lassitude will doubtless find in
the lively airs of our two-step composers an efficient tonic to bring
their vitality up to a high standard of activity. Nothing in it? Why,
Doctor, there's more in it that's in sight to-day that is promising and
suggestive of great things in the future than there was of the principle
of gravitation in the rude act of that historic pippin that left the
parent tree and swatted Sir Isaac Newton on the nose."

"And the Drug Stores will be driven out of business, I presume," said
the Doctor.

"No," said the Idiot. "They will substitute music for drugs, that is
all. Every man who can afford it will have his own medical phonograph or
music-box, and the drug stores will sell cylinders and records for them
instead of quinine, carbonate of soda, squills, paregoric and other
nasty tasting things they have now. This alone will serve to popularize
sickness and instead of being driven out of business their trade will
pick up."

"And the Doctor? And the Doctor's gig and all the appurtenances of his
profession--what becomes of them?" demanded the Doctor.

"We'll have to have the Doctor just the same to prescribe for us, only
he will have to be a musician, but the gig--I'm afraid that will have to
go," said the Idiot.

"And why, pray?" asked the Doctor. "Because there are no more drugs must
the physician walk?"

"Not at all," said the Idiot. "But he'd be better equipped if he drove
about in a piano-organ, or if he preferred an auto on a steam
calliope."

THE OCTOPUSSYCAT[4]

BY KENYON COX

I love Octopussy, his arms are so long;
There's nothing in nature so sweet as his song.
'Tis true I'd not touch him--no, not for a farm!
If I keep at a distance he'll do me no harm.

[Footnote 4: From "Mixed Beasts," by Kenyon Cox. Copyright 1904, by Fox,
Duffield & Co.]

THE BOOK-CANVASSER

ANONYMOUS

He came into my office with a portfolio under his arm. Placing it upon
the table, removing a ruined hat, and wiping his nose upon a ragged
handkerchief that had been so long out of the wash that it was
positively gloomy, he said,--

"Mr. ----, I'm canvassing for the National Portrait Gallery; very
valuable work; comes in numbers, fifty cents apiece; contains pictures
of all the great American heroes from the earliest times down to the
present d