h' game'd get so timpischous
that all th' la-ads iv both sides'd be in wan pile, kickin' away at wan
or th' other or at th' ball or at th' impire, who was mos'ly a la-ad
that cudden't play an' that come out less able to play thin he was whin
he wint in. An', if anny wan laid hands on th' ball, he was kicked be
ivry wan else an' be th' impire. We played fr'm noon till dark, an'
kicked th' ball all th' way home in the moonlight.

"That was futball, an' I was a great wan to play it. I'd think nawthin'
iv histin' th' ball two hundherd feet in th' air, an' wanst I give it
such a boost that I stove in th' ribs iv th' Prowtestant minister--bad
luck to him, he was a kind man--that was lookin' on fr'm a hedge. I was
th' finest player in th' whole county, I was so.

"But this here game that I've been seein' ivry time th' pagan fistival
iv Thanksgivin' comes ar-round, sure it ain't th' game I played. I seen
th' Dorgan la-ad comin' up th' sthreet yesterdah in his futball
clothes,--a pair iv matthresses on his legs, a pillow behind, a mask
over his nose, an' a bushel measure iv hair on his head. He was followed
by thee men with bottles, Dr. Ryan, an' th' Dorgan fam'ly. I jined thim.
They was a big crowd on th' peerary,--a bigger crowd than ye cud get to
go f'r to see a prize fight. Both sides had their frinds that give th'
colledge cries. Says wan crowd: 'Take an ax, an ax, an ax to thim.
Hooroo, hooroo, hellabaloo. Christyan Bro-others!' an' th' other says,
'Hit thim, saw thim, gnaw thim, chaw thim, Saint Alo-ysius!' Well,
afther awhile they got down to wur-ruk. 'Sivin, eighteen, two, four,'
says a la-ad. I've seen people go mad over figures durin' th' free
silver campaign, but I niver see figures make a man want f'r to go out
an' kill his fellow-men befure. But these here figures had th' same
effect on th' la-ads that a mintion iv Lord Castlereagh'd have on their
fathers. Wan la-ad hauled off, an' give a la-ad acrost fr'm him a punch
in th' stomach. His frind acrost th' way caught him in th' ear. Th'
cinter rush iv th' Saint Aloysiuses took a runnin' jump at th' left lung
iv wan iv th' Christyan Brothers, an' wint to th' grass with him. Four
Christyan Brothers leaped most crooly at four Saint Aloysiuses, an'
rolled thim. Th' cap'n iv th' Saint Aloysiuses he took th' cap'n iv th'
Christyan Brothers be th' leg, an' he pounded th' pile with him as I've
seen a section hand tamp th' thrack. All this time young Dorgan was
standin' back