continues his diary, though often considerable intervals occur in
the register of his spiritual state.
"_May 9._--How kindly has God thwarted me in every instance where I
sought to en lave myself! I will learn at least to glory in
disappointments."
"_May 10._--At the Communion. Felt less use for the minister than
ever. Let the Master of the feast alone speak to my heart." He felt at
such times, as many of the Lord's people have always done, that it is
not the addresses of the ministers in serving the table, but the
_Supper itself_, that ought to "satiate their souls with fatness."
_May 21._--It is affecting to us to read the following entry:--"This
day I attained my twenty-first year. Oh! how long and how worthlessly
I have lived, Thou only knowest. _Neff_ died in his thirty-first year;
when shall I?"[3]
[3] It is worthy of notice how often the Lord has done much work
by a few years of holy labor. In our Church, G. Gillespie and J.
Durham died at thirty-six; Hugh Binning at twenty-six; Andrew
Gray when scarcely at twenty-two. Of our witnesses, Patrick
Hamilton was cut off at twenty-four, and Hugh M'Kail at
twenty-six. In other churches we might mention many, such as John
Janeway at twenty-three, David Brainerd at thirty, and Henry
Martyn at thirty-two. Theirs was a short life, filled up with
usefulness, and crowned with glory. Oh to be as they!
_May 29._--He this day wrote very faithfully, yet very kindly, to one
who seemed to him not a believer, and who nevertheless appropriated to
herself the _promises_ of God. "If you are wholly unassured of your
being a believer, is it not a contradiction in terms to say, that you
are sure the believers' promises belong to you? Are you _an assured
believer_? If so, rejoice in your heirship; and yet rejoice with
trembling; for that is the very character of God's heirs. But are you
_unassured_--nay, _wholly unassured_? then what mad presumption to say
to your soul, that these promises, being in the Bible, must belong
indiscriminately to all! It is too gross a contradiction for you to
compass, except in word." He then shows that _Christ's free offer_
must be accepted by the sinner, and so the _promises_ become his.
"This sinner complies with the call or offer, 'Come unto me;' and
thereafter, but not before, can claim the annexed _promise_ as his: 'I
will give thee rest.'"
"_Aug. 14._--Partial fast, and seeking God's face by pray
|