_ for
my name's sake.' Thus it may be with me. I have been too anxious to do
great things. The lust of praise has ever been my besetting sin; and
what more befitting school could be found for me than that of
suffering alone, away from the eye and ear of man?" Writing again to
Mr. Bonar, he tells him: "I feel distinctly that the whole of my labor
during this season of sickness and pain should be in the way of prayer
and _intercession_. And yet, so strongly does Satan work in our
deceitful hearts, I scarcely remember a season wherein I have been
more averse to these duties. I try to build myself up in my most holy
faith, praying in the Holy Ghost, keeping myself in the love of God,
and looking for the mercy of the Lord Jesus unto eternal life.' That
text of Jude has peculiar beauties for me at this season. If it be
good to come under the love of God once, surely it is good to keep
ourselves there. And yet how reluctant we are! I cannot doubt that
boldness is offered me to enter into the holiest of all; I cannot
doubt my right and title to enter continually by the new and bloody
way; I cannot doubt that when I do enter in, I stand not only
forgiven, but accepted in the Beloved; I cannot doubt that when I do
enter in, the Spirit is willing and ready to descend like a dove, to
dwell in my bosom as a Spirit of prayer and peace, enabling me to
'pray in the Holy Ghost;' and that Jesus is ready to rise up as my
intercessor with the Father, praying for me though not for the world;
and that the prayer-hearing God is ready to bend his ear to requests
which He delights to hear and answer. I cannot doubt that thus to
dwell in God is the true blessedness of my nature; and yet, strange
unaccountable creature! I am too often unwilling to enter in. I go
about and about the sanctuary, and I sometimes press in through the
rent veil, and see the blessedness of dwelling there to be far better
than that of the tents of wickedness; yet it is certain that I do not
dwell within."--"My prayers follow you, especially to the sick-beds of
A.D. and C.H. I hope they still survive, and that Christ may yet be
glorified in them."

On resuming his labors, he found a residence in Carronvale. From this
pleasant spot he used to ride out to his work. But pleasant as the
spot was, yet being only partially recovered, he was not satisfied; he
lamented that he was unable to overtake what a stronger laborer would
have accomplished. He often cast a regretful look