s them
intemperate and adulterers and corrupters, nor that which makes them do
whatever else men do against one another through this one opinion only,
that of placing themselves and their interests in the things which are
not within the power of their will. But if you hear that in truth these
men think the good to be only there, where will is, and where there is a
right use of appearances, no longer trouble yourself whether they are
father or son, or brothers, or have associated a long time and are
companions, but when you have ascertained this only, confidently declare
that they are friends, as you declare that they are faithful, that they
are just. For where else is friendship than where there is fidelity, and
modesty, where there is a communion of honest things and of nothing
else.

But you may say, Such a one treated me with regard so long; and did he
not love me? How do you know, slave, if he did not regard you in the
same way as he wipes his shoes with a sponge, or as he takes care of his
beast? How do you know, when you have ceased to be useful as a vessel,
he will not throw you away like a broken platter? But this woman is my
wife, and we have lived together so long. And how long did Eriphyle live
with Amphiaraus, and was the mother of children and of many? But a
necklace came between them: and what is a necklace? It is the opinion
about such things. That was the bestial principle, that was the thing
which broke asunder the friendship between husband and wife, that which
did not allow the woman to be a wife nor the mother to be a mother. And
let every man among you who has seriously resolved either to be a friend
himself or to have another for his friend, cut out these opinions, hate
them, drive them from his soul. And thus first of all he will not
reproach himself, he will not be at variance with himself, he will not
change his mind, he will not torture himself. In the next place, to
another also, who is like himself, he will be altogether and completely
a friend. But he will bear with the man who is unlike himself, he will
be kind to him, gentle, ready to pardon on account of his ignorance, on
account of his being mistaken in things of the greatest importance; but
he will be harsh to no man, being well convinced of Plato's doctrine
that every mind is deprived of truth unwillingly. If you cannot do this,
yet you can do in all other respects as friends do, drink together, and
lodge together, and sail together, a