e evil eye, and the others in
doctors who charge high fees. If they had faith they would know that
scarlatina, diphtheria, etc., are not so terrible, since they cannot
disturb that which man can and should love,--the soul. There can result
from them only that which none of us can avoid,--disease and death.
Without faith in God, they love only physically, and all their energy is
concentrated upon the preservation of life, which cannot be preserved,
and which the doctors promise the fools of both sexes to save. And from
that time there is nothing to be done; the doctors must be summoned.
"Thus the presence of the children not only did not improve our
relations as husband and wife, but, on the contrary, disunited us. The
children became an additional cause of dispute, and the larger they
grew, the more they became an instrument of struggle.
"One would have said that we used them as weapons with which to combat
each other. Each of us had his favorite. I made use of little Basile
(the eldest), she of Lise. Further, when the children reached an age
where their characters began to be defined, they became allies, which we
drew each in his or her own direction. They suffered horribly from this,
the poor things, but we, in our perpetual hubbub, were not clear-headed
enough to think of them. The little girl was devoted to me, but the
eldest boy, who resembled my wife, his favorite, often inspired me with
dislike."
CHAPTER XVII.
"We lived at first in the country, then in the city, and, if the final
misfortune had not happened, I should have lived thus until my old age
and should then have believed that I had had a good life,--not too good,
but, on the other hand, not bad,--an existence such as other people
lead. I should not have understood the abyss of misfortune and ignoble
falsehood in which I floundered about, feeling that something was not
right. I felt, in the first place, that I, a man, who, according to my
ideas, ought to be the master, wore the petticoats, and that I could not
get rid of them. The principal cause of my subjection was the children.
I should have liked to free myself, but I could not. Bringing up the
children, and resting upon them, my wife ruled. I did not then realize
that she could not help ruling, especially because, in marrying, she was
morally superior to me, as every young girl is incomparably superior to
the man, since she is incomparably purer. Strange thing! The ordinary
wife in our soc
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