said to myself: 'What a woman! Everything that she
says is a lie!' And I was astonished that the person with whom she was
conversing did not see that she was lying. When we were together; we
were condemned to silence, or to conversations which, I am sure, might
have been carried on by animals.

"'What time is it? It is bed-time. What is there for dinner to-day?
Where shall we go? What is there in the newspaper? The doctor must be
sent for, Lise has a sore throat.'

"Unless we kept within the extremely narrow limits of such conversation,
irritation was sure to ensue. The presence of a third person relieved
us, for through an intermediary we could still communicate. She probably
believed that she was always right. As for me, in my own eyes, I was a
saint beside her.

"The periods of what we call love arrived as often as formerly. They
were more brutal, without refinement, without ornament; but they were
short, and generally followed by periods of irritation without cause,
irritation fed by the most trivial pretexts. We had spats about the
coffee, the table-cloth, the carriage, games of cards,--trifles, in
short, which could not be of the least importance to either of us. As
for me, a terrible execration was continually boiling up within me. I
watched her pour the tea, swing her foot, lift her spoon to her mouth,
and blow upon hot liquids or sip them, and I detested her as if these
had been so many crimes.

"I did not notice that these periods of irritation depended very
regularly upon the periods of love. Each of the latter was followed
by one of the former. A period of intense love was followed by a long
period of anger; a period of mild love induced a mild irritation. We did
not understand that this love and this hatred were two opposite faces
of the same animal feeling. To live thus would be terrible, if one
understood the philosophy of it. But we did not perceive this, we did
not analyze it. It is at once the torture and the relief of man that,
when he lives irregularly, he can cherish illusions as to the miseries
of his situation. So did we. She tried to forget herself in sudden and
absorbing occupations, in household duties, the care of the furniture,
her dress and that of her children, in the education of the latter, and
in looking after their health. These were occupations that did not arise
from any immediate necessity, but she accomplished them as if her life
and that of her children depended on whether the