is finger at the marquis and he slept. We all brag and
blow our horn here for a few brief years, it is true, but when the grim
reaper with his new and automatic twine-binder comes along he gathers us
in; the weak and the strong, the ignorant and the educated, the plain
and the beautiful, the young and the old, those who have just sniffed
the sweet and dew-laden air of life's morning and those who are footsore
and weary and waiting--all alike must bow low to the sickle that goes on
cutting closer and closer to us even when we sleep.

Had Pizarro thought more about this matter, he would have been ahead
to-day.

[Illustration]

BILL NYE.

HE DISCOVERS A MAN WITH AN IDEA--A NEW PLAN OF RUNNING A GOOD
HOTEL--IMPROVEMENTS FOR WHICH PEOPLE PAY IN ADVANCE.

The following circular from a hotel-man in Kansas is going about over
the country, and it certainly deserves more than a passing notice. I
change the name of the hotel and proprietor in order to avoid giving any
free boom to a man who seems to be thoroughly self-reliant and able to
take care of himself. The rest of the circular is accurately copied:

KANSAS.--_Dear Sir:_ Not having enough room under our present
arrangements, and wishing to make the Roller-Towel House the
recognized head-quarters for traveling men, we desire to enlarge
the building. Not having the money on hand to do so, we make the
following proposition: If you will advance us $5, to be used for
the above purpose, we will deduct that amount from your bill when
stopping with us. We feel assured that the traveling men appreciate
our efforts to give them first-class accommodations, and as the
above amount will be deducted from your bill when stopping with us,
we hope for a favorable reply. Should you not visit our town again
the loan will be repaid in cash.

J. KRASH TOWEL,

Proprietor Roller-Towel House.

Here we have a man with a quiet, gentlemanly way, and yet withal a cool,
level head, a man who knows when he needs more room and how best to go
to work to remedy that defect. Mr. Towel sees that another row of
sleeping rooms, cut low in the ceiling, is actually needed. In fancy he
already sees these rooms added to his house. Each has a strip of hemp
carpet in front of the bed and a cute little green shade over the
window, a shade that falls down when we try to adjust it, filling the
room with Kansas dust. In his dreams he sees e