light,
'Tis scarce distinguishable from white!"
"_White!_" yelled a third, with rage half
throttled,
"With jet-black streaks 'tis thickly mottled.
If not pure Raven, all must own
No Magpie hath a sootier tone!"

And so the rival parties raged and wrangled;
Judgment considered whilst the bigots jangled,
And the great bulk of _them_ 'twas sad to find,
Wore party-coloured specs., or else were colour-blind!

* * * * *

[Illustration: GARRICK THEATRE.]

The Hare Apparent in a New Pair of Spectacles.

* * * * *

[Illustration: ONLY A DROP!]

_Shareholder._ "HALLO! I DON'T SEEM TO BE GETTING MUCH OUT OF THIS!
WHAT'S THE MATTER?"

_Standard._ "MATTER? THERE'S A LEAKAGE SOMEWHERE!"

* * * * *

ALL FOR THE SAKE OF THE ARMY!

_From Mr. C. Bounder to Mr. T. Tenterfive._

DEAR TOMMY,--I say, can't you give me a leg up, to get the Government to
adopt my confounded pop-guns? The foreigners don't seem to see them
much, and, hang it all! a true-hearted Johnnie should give his native
land the first chance.

Thine ever,

CHARLES BOUNDER.

_From Mr. T. Tenterfive to Mr. C. Bounder._

DEAR CHARLEY,--I'm afraid I'm not of much use. Send in application about
your pop-guns, and I will look after it as much as can. You mustn't
expect much, as the Department has a way of knocking a thing about for
months--sometimes years--and then quietly shelving it. Hope to see you
soon.

Thine ever,

THOMAS TENTERFIVE.

_Report of Ordnance Committee, to be forwarded to the Adjutant-General._

We have examined the Bounder Patent Ironclad Pocket Revolving
Cannonette, and consider it a weapon that might possibly be introduced
into the Service with advantage, if the cost of production is not
excessive.

_Report of Adjutant-General, to be forwarded to Quartermaster-General._

I enclose report of Ordnance Committee of which I approve. However, as
the matter involves a financial question, your opinion thereon would be
of great value.

_Report of the Quartermaster-Gen., to be forwarded to Inspector-Gen. of
Fortifications._

CAN offer no suggestion about the cost of production until it can be
ascertained whether the Cannonette will be suitable for Home Defences.
What is your opinion on this point?

_Report of Inspector-General of Fortifications, to be forwarded to
Secretary of State._

No doubt the Cannonette migh