fied by the gift,
selected a weed, and was proceeding to light it, whilst he showed a
desire to converse familiarly with me. 'Astily excusing myself, I drove
away, when----

_Lady B._ When _what_? Do not torture a wretched old woman!

_Monks._ When I heard a loud report behind me, and, in the portion of a
brace, two waistcoat-buttons, and half a slipper, which hurtled past my
ears, I recognised all that was mortal of the late Sir VEVEY. You mixed
them cigars uncommon strong, m'Lady.

_Elfie_ (_aside_). Can it be? But no, no. I will _not_ believe it. I am
sure that dear Granny meant no harm!

_Lady B._ (_with a grim pride she cannot wholly repress_). I have
devoted some study to the subject of explosives. 'Tis another triumph to
the Anti-tobacconists. And what of Lady VIOLET POWDRAY--did she apply
the salve?

_Monks._ Judging from the 'eartrending 'owls which proceeded from
Carmine Cottage, the salve was producing the desired result. Her
Ladyship, 'owever, terminated her sufferings somewhat prematoor by
jumping out of a top winder just as I was taking my departure----

_Lady B._ She should have died hereafter--but no matter ... and the
Upas-tree?

_Monks._ Was presented to the PERGAMENTS, who unpacked it, and loaded
its branches with toys and tapers; after which Mr. PERGAMENTS, Mrs. P.,
and all the little PERGAMENTS joined 'ands, and danced round it in light
'arted glee. (_In a sombre tone._) They little knoo as how it was their
dance of death!

_Lady B._ That knowledge will come! And the beer, MONKSHOOD--you saw it
broached?

_Monks._ Upon the village green; the mortality is still spreading, it
being found impossible to undo the knots in which the victims had tied
themselves. The sweetmeats were likewise distributed, and the floor of
the hinfant-school now resembles one vast fly-paper.

_Lady B._ (_with a touch of remorse_). The children, too! Was not my
little ELFIE once an infant? Ah me, ah me!

_Elfie_ (_aside_). Once--but that was long, long ago. And, oh, _how_
disappointed I am in poor dear Grandmamma!

_Lady B._ MONKSHOOD, you should not have done these things--you should
have saved me from myself. You _must_ have known how greatly all this
would increase my unpopularity in the neighbourhood.

_Monks._ (_sulkily_). And this is my reward for obeying orders! Take
care, my Lady. It suits you now to throw me aside like a--(_casting
about for an original simile_)--like a old glove, because this innocen