better _do_--and that is, take your 'ook while you
can. Even now the outraged populace approaches, to wreak a hawful
vengeance upon your guilty 'ed!

[_Melodramatic music._

_Lady B._ (_distractedly_). A mob! I cannot face them--they will tear me
limb from limb. At my age I could not survive such an indignity as that!
Hide me, MONKSHOOD--help me to escape!

_Monks._ There is a secret underground passage, known only to myself,
communicating with the nearest railway station. I will point it out, and
personally conduct your Ladyship--for a consideration--one thousand
pounds down.

[_The noise increases._

_Elfie._ No, Grannie, don't trust him! Be calm and brave. Await the mob
here. Leave it all to me. I will explain everything to them--how you
meant no ill,--how, at the very time they thought you were meditating an
injury, you were actually spending money in insuring all their lives.
When I tell them _that_----

_Monks._ Ah, you tell 'em that, and see. It's too late now--they are
here.

[_Shouts without. Lady B. crouches on floor. Little_ ELFIE _goes to the
window, throws open the shutters, and stands on balcony in her
fluttering white robe, and the limelight._

_Elfie._ Yes, they are here. Why, they are carrying torches!--(Lady B.
_groans_)--and banners, too! I think they have a band ... Who is that
tall, stout gentleman, in the white hat, on horseback, and the lady in a
pony-trap, with, oh, such a beautiful complexion! There is an
inscription on one of the flags--I can read it quite plainly. "_Thanks
to the generous Donor!_" (That must be _you_, Grandmother!) And there
are children who dance, and scatter flowers. They are asking for a
speech. (_Speaking off._) "If you please, Ladies and Gentlemen, my
Grandmamma is not at all well, but she wishes me to say she wishes you a
Merry Christmas, and is very glad you all like your presents so much.
Good-bye, _good_-bye! (_Returning down Stage._) Now they have gone away,
Granny ... They did look so grateful!

_Lady B._ (_bewildered_). What is this? Sir VEVEY, Lady VIOLET,--alive,
well? This deputation of gratitude? Am I mad, dreaming--or what does it
all mean?

_Monks._ (_doggedly_). It means that the sight of this 'ere angel-child
recalled me to a sense of what I might be exposin' myself to by carrying
out your Ladyship's commands; and so I took the liberty of substitootin
gifts more calculated to inspire gratitude in their recipients--that's
what it means.

_La