or stands upon the platform as the train backs into
the depot, looking at nobody, but his eye fixed upon the chances of
accident, you always feel as though you wanted to put your arm around
him and say, "Bully for you, old boy."

If your wife gets out of money on a journey the conductor goes down into
his _own_ pocket, and not into the railroad company's, and tells her not
to worry, as he hands her what money she wants. If your child is taken
sick on the journey, who but the conductor sees to sending a dispatch to
you quicker than lightning, and who brings a pillow in from the sleeper
and makes the little one as comfortable as he would his own little one
at home?

You appreciate these things at the time, but some day you will say, "How
can a man drive a fast horse on eighty dollars a month?" Then you
think you are smart. We will tell you. The conductors are pretty sharp
business men. They can't travel all the time, and come in contact with
all the world, and not be sharp. They see chances to make money outside
of their business.

For instance, one of them who is a good judge sees a horse at some
interior town that he knows is worth three times as much in Milwaukee or
Chicago as the owner asks for it. He would be a fool if he did not buy
it. We have known a conductor to make more money on two horse trades
than his salary would amount to for three months. Would you object to
his doing it? He did not neglect the business the company paid him to
perform.

Sometimes a conductor feels in his inmost heart that the indications are
that wheat is going up. Is it any worse for him to take a deal in
wheat than it is for the deacon in his church? If he makes five hundred
dollars on the deal, and puts an addition on his house, is it the square
thing for you to say he stole it out of the company? Their knowledge
of railroads and business frequently gives them an idea that stocks are
liable to go up or down, and often they invest with good results.

We will take the chances with conductors, as square men, by the side
of any business men, and it makes us as mad as a wet hen to hear people
talk about their stealing. As well say that because one bank cashier
steals that they are all robbing the banks. Quit this, now.

A HOT BOX AT A PICNIC.

An Oshkosh young man started for a picnic in a buggy with two girls,
and when they got half way they got a hot box to the hind wheel of the
buggy, and they remained there all the afterno