life. If he has spread his opinion in that family, I shall quickly hear
on't, for my cousin Molle is now gone to Kimbolton to my Lord
Manchester, and from there he goes to Moor Park to my cousin Franklin's,
and in one, or both, he will be sure to meet with it. The matter is not
great, for I confess I do naturally hate the noise and talk of the
world, and should be best pleased never to be known in't upon any
occasion whatsoever; yet, since it can never be wholly avoided, one must
satisfy oneself by doing nothing that one need care who knows. I do not
think _a propos_ to tell anybody that you and I are very good friends,
and it were better, sure, if nobody knew it but we ourselves. But if, in
spite of all our caution, it be discovered, 'tis no treason nor anything
else that's ill; and if anybody should tell me that I have had a greater
kindness and esteem for you than for any one besides, I do not think I
should deny it; howsoever you do, oblige me by not owning any such
thing, for as you say, I have no reason to take it ill that you
endeavour to preserve me a liberty, though I'm never likely to make use
on't. Besides that, I agree with you too that certainly 'tis much better
you should owe my kindness to nothing but your own merit and my
inclination, than that there should lie any other necessity upon me of
making good my words to you.

For God's sake do not complain so that you do not see me; I believe I do
not suffer less in't than you, but 'tis not to be helped. If I had a
picture that were fit for you, you should have it. I have but one that's
anything like, and that's a great one, but I will send it some time or
other to Cooper or Hoskins, and have a little one drawn by it, if I
cannot be in town to sit myself. You undo me by but dreaming how happy
we might have been, when I consider how far we are from it in reality.
Alas! how can you talk of defying fortune; nobody lives without it, and
therefore why should you imagine you could? I know not how my brother
comes to be so well informed as you say, but I am certain he knows the
utmost of the injuries you have received from her. 'Tis not possible she
should have used you worse than he says. We have had another debate, but
much more calmly. 'Twas just upon his going up to town, and perhaps he
thought it not fit to part in anger. Not to wrong him, he never said to
me (whate'er he thought) a word in prejudice of you in your own person,
and I never heard him accuse any