not care to receive them. And I thought there was no
need of saying I would be sure to take the first occasion, and that I
waited with impatience for it, because I hoped you had believed all that
already; and so you do, I am sure. Say what you will, you cannot but
know my heart enough to be assured that I wish myself with you, for my
own sake as well as yours. 'Tis rather that you love to hear me say it
often, than that you doubt it; for I am no dissembler. I could not cry
for a husband that were indifferent to me (like your cousin); no, nor
for a husband that I loved neither. I think 'twould break my heart
sooner than make me shed a tear. 'Tis ordinary griefs that make me weep.
In earnest, you cannot imagine how often I have been told that I had too
much _franchise_ in my humour, and that 'twas a point of good breeding
to disguise handsomely; but I answered still for myself, that 'twas not
to be expected I should be exactly bred, that had never seen a Court
since I was capable of anything. Yet I know so much,--that my Lady
Carlisle would take it very ill if you should not let her get the point
of honour; 'tis all she aims at, to go beyond everybody in compliment.
But are you not afraid of giving me a strong vanity with telling me I
write better than the most extraordinary person in the world? If I had
not the sense to understand that the reason why you like my letters
better is only because they are kinder than hers, such a word might have
undone me.

But my Lady Isabella, that speaks, and looks, and sings, and plays, and
all so prettily, why cannot I say that she is free from faults as her
sister believes her? No; I am afraid she is not, and sorry that those
she has are so generally known. My brother did not bring them for an
example; but I did, and made him confess she had better have married a
beggar than that beast with all his estate. She cannot be excused; but
certainly they run a strange hazard that have such husbands as makes
them think they cannot be more undone, whatever course they take. Oh,
'tis ten thousand pities! I remember she was the first woman that ever I
took notice of for extremely handsome; and, in earnest, she was then the
loveliest lady that could be looked on, I think. But what should she do
with beauty now? Were I as she, I should hide myself from all the world;
I should think all people that looked on me read it in my face and
despised me in their hearts; and at the same time they made me a le