dy and
eager to sail the world round to discover him; but I was still very
young, and I knew that there would be a great deal of difficulty in
getting my father to allow me to go, if indeed he would give me
permission at all. When or how the idea came into my mind I could not
tell. There it was, however, and once there it was not likely to die
out, but would grow with my growth and strengthen with my strength, till
at length I was able to act upon it.

About this time I observed a great change coming over my father. He was
kind and affectionate as ever, but his spirits were lower than I had
ever known them; and day after day he came down late from London,
looking weary and fagged. My mother, too, looked anxious and sad.
Whatever was the cause which affected him, she was fully aware of it.
He had always from the first told her how his affairs were going on, and
he was not the person to conceal any expected misfortune from his
long-trusted wife.

The looked-for blow which was to lay him low, destroy his credit, and
bring him to utter ruin, came even more quickly and suddenly than he had
anticipated. He had some heavy liabilities, but at considerable loss
had collected the necessary sums, which were placed in the hands of his
bankers to meet them. The morning of the very day on which the money
was to be paid, his bankers failed, and he was in consequence compelled
to stop payment. Still, his creditors had so much confidence in him
that they would have enabled him to continue business; but scarcely a
week had passed before he received news that two of his principal
foreign correspondents, with whom he had at the time very large
transactions, had likewise failed. Thus the remittances he was
expecting from them did not arrive, and he was utterly unable to meet
other and still heavier liabilities which were daily falling due. He at
once manfully called his creditors together, and explained clearly to
them the state of the case, and handed all his available property over
to them. He bore up well under the trying situation in which he was
placed; he even, I heard, looked cheerful. He was doing what he felt to
be his duty. He trusted still, by industry and energy, to be able to
support his family; but there was something working away at his heart
which those who saw him did not suspect, and of which he himself
possibly was not aware. He went back to his counting-house after this
last meeting of his creditors. He w