to enjoy myself.

What do you think? Just as the bell was ringing, a female with a kid
rushed on to the platform and made a dive for my carriage. I can tell
you I was riled. But that wasn't half of it.

"Are you going to Waterloo, young gentleman?" asks the female, as out of
breath as you like.

"Yes--why?" said I.

"Would you be so kind as to look after Tommy? His father will be there
to meet him. He's got his ticket; haven't you, Tommy? Say `Thank you'
to the kind young gentleman. Bye, bye; be a good boy."

"Right forward," sings out the guard.

"Love to daddy," says the female.

"Stand away from the train," shouts the porter.

And then we were off. And here was I, left alone in a carriage with a
kid called Tommy, that I was to give over to a chap called daddy at
Waterloo!

How would _you_ have liked it yourself, Jossy? I was awfully disgusted.
And, of course, till the train was off, I never thought of saying, "I
can't," and then it was too late. I can tell you it's a bit rough on a
fellow to be served that way. If ever you're going by train and see a
female and a kid coming along, hop out of the carriage till you see
which carriage they get into; and then go and get into another.

I made up my mind I'd leave the little cad to himself, so I started to
read. At least I pretended to. Really I took a good squint at him
while he wasn't looking. He was a kid of about four and a half, I
fancy, with a turnippy head and a suit of togs that must have been new,
he was so jolly proud of them. He sat staring at the lamp and swinging
his legs for a good bit. Then he got hold of the window-strap and
fooled about with that. Then he remembered his swagger togs and looked
himself all over, and stuck his hands in his pocket. He twigged me
looking at him as he did so.

"I've got a knife," he said, as cool as if he'd known me a couple of
terms.

"Who said you hadn't?" I responded.

"It's in my pocket," he said.

"Oh," said I. I didn't want to encourage him.

He pulled it out, staring at me all the time. Then he slipped down off
the seat and brought it up to me.

"Open it," he said.

"Open it yourself," said I.

"I can't," said he. "Open it! Open it!"

"All right, keep your temper," said I, and I opened it. A beastly blunt
thing it was. "There you are; take it."

"I want to sit beside you," he said, when he'd got it.

"Do you? I don't want you. Haven't you got all the rest of the
ca