was his father's own boy. You've only to look at him; and if
he was a bit of a romp, why, so were you and I in our day."

"Speak for yourself," said Henry the Eighth severely. "But what about
Becket?"

"Ah, well, there was a little accident, I believe, about him, and he got
hurt. But I assure you I never touched him; in fact, I was a hundred
miles away at the time. I'll prove an alibi if you like."

"No, no," said the judge; "that is quite sufficient. Chalk down two,
Nigger: one for Becket and one for the bad family. How many does that
come to?"

"That's eight," said the Black Prince. "All right. We only want two
more. Go on."

"`Richard the First, surnamed the Lion Heart, was the strongest and
bravest man in England, and won many glorious battles in the Holy
Land.'"

"Hullo, I say," said the judge. "That's pitching it just a little
strong, isn't it? What have you got to say to that, Dicky?"

"Seems pretty square," said Richard modestly. "He doesn't say what a
good dentist I was, though. My! the dozens I used to pull out; and--oh,
I say--look here, he says nothing about Blondel, and the tune I
composed. That's far more important than the Crusades. It was an
andante in F minor, you know, and--"

"That'll do, that'll do, Dicky. We've heard that before," interrupted
the judge. "Score him down half a lie, Nigger, and call up Johnny."

"`King John, surnamed Lackland, was a wicked king. He was forced to
yield to the barons, and he lost all his clothes in the Wash.'"

"Well, I never!" said John, foaming with rage; "if that isn't the
coolest bit of lying I ever heard! Here have I been and worn my fingers
to the bone writing Magna Charta and giving England all her liberties,
and he never once mentions it! My lord and gentlemen, I should like to
read you the document I hold in my hand, in order that you may judge--"

"What, eh? Read that thing?" exclaimed Henry the Eighth, in horror.
"You'd better try it on, that's all. Good gracious me, what next? I've
a good mind to commit you for contempt of court. The question is, were
you a wicked king? and did you lose your clothes in the Wash?"

"I am surprised and pained that your lordship should ask me either
question. When I assure you, my lord and gentlemen, that a more dutiful
son, a wiser monarch, a tenderer husband, and a more estimable man than
the humble individual who now addresses you, never drew--"

"Teeth," put in Richard I.

"No, brea