ee
By the morsels that kick in my maw;
Fetch a knife, fork, and spoon, John, for you and for me.
Dinner's ready! Young boys taste best raw.

_Rom._
Oh, impious monster, hold thy howling jaw!
And you, John, to your flocks return once more.
Forbear to talk of eating me and Remus,
You ugly, wicked, ill-conditioned schemers.

1. Here I should remark that to be strictly accurate my tragedy should
be called a tragic opera. It abounds in songs calculated to stir
familiar chords in the breasts of a popular and juvenile audience.

2. It may here be objected that my heroes are at this time only a few
weeks old. But instances of precocious children (especially in tragic
drama) are not unheard of; and after careful inquiry the author is not
satisfied that in the present case the young persons in question did not
speak fluently. Allowance must, of course, be made for youthful
inexperience in the matter of rhymes.

_Remus_.
D'you hear, you cads? Shut up, and let us be.
You shall not dine off Romulus and me!

_John (in alarm_).
Upon my word! What if the boys are right?
Friend Lupus, thanks--I'd rather not to-night.

_Wolf (scornfully_).
What? Do you funk it? Well, I call that rough.

_John_.
Fact is, I can't help thinking they'd taste tough.

_Rom. and Rem. (excitedly_).
We would! we would! we're awful tough to eat;
We're only skin and bone and gristle; and no meat.
(_They sing_).
Two little kids from nurse are we,
Skinny as two kids can be;
Never a bite since yesterday,
Two little kids from nurse.

Dropped we were by our cruel ma
(With full consent of our awful pa)
Into the stream of the river Tiber -
Two little kids from nurse.

We were nearly drowned, when the stream stood still
And left us dry (and hungry) till
This old she-wolf came to take her fill
Of two little kids from nurse.
You let us be, or we'll tell our ma,
And she'll inform our awful pa;
If he comes round, you'll catch a Tartar--
Two little kids from nurse.

_Wolf (turning pale_).
Your words alarm me! Gentle lads, behold,
I'll be your nurse until you're two years old.
Then if you have not found your pa or ma,
I will adopt you. What say you?

_Rom. and Rem._.
Hurrah!

_John_.
So now that's settled, let's chant one more strain,
And after that I'll to my home again.

Song.

_Rom._.
Who ran to gulp me where I lay,
And to