nd PODBURY. Long self-repression has
reduced PODBURY to that unpleasantly hysterical condition
known as "a fit of the giggles," which, however, has hitherto
escaped detection._

[Illustration: "A Solemn Gentleman, with a troublesome cough, reading
aloud to his Wife."]

_Miss P._ (_standing opposite "The Flight into Egypt" reading_). "One
of the principal figures here is the Donkey." Where _is_ Mr. PODBURY?
(_To P., who reappears, humbly proffering a tin focussing-case._)
Thanks, but you need not have troubled! "The Donkey ... um--um--never
seen--um--um--any of the nobler animals so sublime as this quiet head
of the domestic ass"--(_here BOB digs PODBURY in the ribs, behind
Miss P.'s back_)--"chiefly owing to the grand motion in the nostril,
and writhing in the ears." (_A spasmodic choke from_ PODBURY.) May I
ask what you find so amusing?

_Podb._ (_crimson_). I--I _beg_ your pardon--I don't know _what_ I was
laughing at exactly. (_Aside to BOB._) _Will_ you shut up, confound
you!

_A Stout Lady, close by_ (_reading from HARE_). "The whole symmetry
of it depending on a narrow line of light." (_Dubiously, to her
Daughter._) I don't _quite_--oh yes, I do now--that's it--where
my sunshade is--"the edge of a carpenter's square, which connects
those unused tools" ... h'm--can _you_ make out the "unused tools,"
ETHEL? _I_ can't.... But he says--"The Ruined House is the Jewish
Dispensation." Now I should never have found _that_ out for myself.
(_They pass to another canvas._) "TINTORET denies himself all aid
from the features.... No time allowed for watching the expression" ...
(That reminds me--what _is_ the time by your bracelet, darling?) "No
blood, no stabbing, or cutting ... but an awful substitute for these
in the chiaroscuro." (Ah, yes, indeed! Do you see it, love?--in
the right-hand corner?) "So that our eyes"--(_comfortably_)--"seem
to become bloodshot, and strained with strange horror, and deadly
vision." (Not one o'clock, _really_?--and we've to meet Papa outside
Florian's, for lunch at one-thirty! Dear me, we mustn't stay too long
over this room.)

_A Solemn Gentleman_ (_with a troublesome cough, who is also provided
with HARE, reading aloud to his wife_).... "Further enhanced
by--rook--rook--rook!--a largely-made--rook--ook!--farm-servant,
leaning on a--ork--ork--ork--ork--or--ook!--basket." Shall I--ork!--go
on?

_His Wife_. Yes, dear, do, _please_! It makes one notice things so
_much_ more!