at Chorley Wood, or to bush-whack at Bungay.

* * * * *

FREE AND EASY THEATRES.--We have no sympathy whatever with the idea of
a Theatre Libre or with a Free-and-Easy Theatre, but we shall be very
glad when all Theatres are made Easy, Easy, that is, as to sitting
accommodation, and Easy of egress and ingress. But if the space is
to be enlarged, will not the prices have to be enlarged too? 'Tis
a problem in the discussion of which _The Players_, which is a new
journal, solely devoted to things Dramatic and Theatrical, would find
congenial employment.

* * * * *

VENICE AT OLYMPIA.

["The water in the canals is two feet in depth, and is kept at
a temperature of sixty degrees."

_Vide the Press on "Venice at Olympia."_]

[Illustration]

O Jane, thou jewel of my heart--
Thou object of my hopeless passion,
Though Fate decrees that we must part,
I'll leave thee in some novel fashion!
I will not do as others do
When cheated of prospective bridal,
And quit the Bridge of Waterloo
With header swift and suicidal.

I will not seek--as others seek--
Some public-house in mean and _low_ street,
And drink--till haled before the Beak
Who patiently presides at Bow Street.
I will not throw--as others throw--
My manly form, without compunction,
Before the frequent trains that go
At lightning speed through Clapham Junction.

For though my spirit seeks escape
From all the carking cares that vex it,
I will not plunge thee into crape
By any ordinary exit:
So when--in slang--I "take my hook,"
Detesting all that's mean and skimpy, a
Reserved and numbered seat I'll book,
And hie to Venice at Olympia.

I'll see the Show that draws the town--
Its pageantry delight affording--
As per the details noted down
Where posters flame on every hoarding;
And then the sixpence I will pay,
Which in my pocket now I'm fondling,
And try upon the water-way
The new experience of gondling.

I know that death will seem delight
When in the gondola I'm seated,
For up to sixty Fahrenheit
The Grand Canal is nicely heated;
So--sick of life's incessant storm,
Impatient of its kicks and pinches--
I'll plunge within the water warm,
And drown--in four-and-twenty inches!

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

[Illustration]

Aft