ne
eye--Half-pay--Home--Huzza!--Swift gales--Post-horses--Love, hope, and
Clare Grey--

[Illustration: "I'D BE A BUTTERFLY," &c.]

VOL. III.

"Here we are!"--At home once more--Old friends and old faces--Must be
changed--Nobody knows him--Church bells ringing--Inquire
cause--(?)--Wedding--Clare Grey to Job Snooks, the old pawnbroker--Brain
whirls--Eyes start from sockets--Devils and hell--Clare Grey, the fond,
constant, Clare, a jilt?--Can't be--No go--Stump up to church--Too
true--Clare just made Mrs. Snooks--Madness!! rage!!! death!!!!--Tom's
crutch at work--Snooks floored--Bridesman settled--Parson bolts--Clerk
mizzles--Salts and shrieks--Clare in a swoon--Pa' in a funk--Tragedy
speech--Love! vengeance! and damnation!--Half an ounce of laudanum--Quick
speech--Tom unshackles his wooden pin--Dies like a hero--Clare pines in
secret--Hops the twig, and goes to glory in white muslin--Poor Tom and
Clare! they now lie side by side, beneath

[Illustration: "A WEEPING WILL-OH!"]

* * * * *

LESSONS IN PUNMANSHIP.

We have been favoured with the following announcement from Mr. Hood, which
we recommend to the earnest attention of our subscribers:--

MR. T. HOOD, PROFESSOR OF PUNMANSHIP,

Begs to acquaint the dull and witless, that he has established a class for
the acquirement of an elegant and ready style of punning, on the pure
Joe-millerian principle. The very worst hands are improved in six short
and mirthful lessons. As a specimen of his capability, he begs to subjoin
two conundrums by Colonel Sibthorpe.

COPY.

"The following is a specimen of my punning _before_ taking six
lessons of Mr. T. Hood:--

"Q. Why is a fresh-plucked carnation like a certain _cold_ with which
children are affected?

"A. Because it's _a new pink off_ (an hooping-cough).

"This is a specimen of my punning _after_ taking six lessons of Mr.
T. Hood:--

"Q. Why is the difference between pardoning and thinking no more of an
injury the same as that between a selfish and a generous man?

"A. Because the one is _for-getting_ and the other
_for-giving_."

N.B. Gentlemen who live by their wits, and diners-out in particular, will
find Mr. T. Hood's system of incalculable service.

Mr. H. has just completed a large assortment of jokes, which will be
suitable for all occurrences of the table, whether dinner or tea. He has
also a few second-hand _bon mots_ which he can offer a bargain.

*** A GOOD L