dy this upon the exclamation of Belmontel's starving
author: "La Gloire--donnez-moi do pain!"--FENWICK DE
PORQUET.

[5] "They mourn it dead," &c.--A pretty, but perhaps too literal
allusion to a popular song--J. RODWELL.

[6] "X--sighs."--Who "X" may happen to be we have not the remotest
idea. But who would not forgive a little mystification for
so brilliant a pun?--THE GHOST OF PUNCH'S THEATRE.

* * * * *

MR. HUME.

We are requested by Mr. Hume to state, that being relieved from his
parliamentary duties, he intends opening a day-school in the neighbourhood
of the House of Commons, for the instruction of members only, in the
principles of the illustrious Cocker; and to remedy in some measure his
own absence from the Finance Committees, he is now engaged in preparing a
Parliamentary Ready-reckoner. We heartily wish him success.

* * * * *

"PRIVATE."

"In the event of the Tories coming into power, it is intended to confer
the place of Postmaster-General upon Lord Clanwilliam. It would be
difficult to select an individual more _peculiarly_ fitted for the
situation than his lordship, whose _love of letters_ is notorious in
the Carlton Club."--_Extract from an Intercepted Letter._

* * * * *

"AND DOTH NOT A MEETING LIKE THIS MAKE AMENDS?"

It is currently reported at the Conservative Clubs, that if their party
should come into power, Sir Robert Peel will endeavour to conciliate the
Whigs, and to form a coalition with their former opponents. We have no
doubt the cautious baronet sees the necessity of the step, and would feel
grateful for support from any quarter; but we much doubt the
practicability of the measure. It would indeed he a strange sight to see
Lord Johnny and Sir Bobby, the two great leaders of the opposition
engines, with their followers, meeting amicably on the floor of the House
of Commons. In our opinion, an infernal crash and smash would be the
result of these

[ILLUSTRATION: GRAND JUNCTION TRAINS.]

* * * * *

THE DRAMA.

The "star system" has added another victim to the many already sacrificed
to its rapacity and injustice. Mr. Phelps, an actor whose personation of
_Macduff_, the _Hunchback, Jaques_, &c., would have procured for
him in former times no mean position, has been compelled to secede from
the Hayma