ay, _what_ did you say it would cost you?

_Builder_. Oh, about ten pounds, I suppose.

_Surveyor_ (_lighting another cigar_). Humph! (_Puff'
puff!_) Pity--pity! (_Puff! puff!_) Now look here, my
boy--(_confidentially_)--suppose you and me just divide that
tenner between us, five to you, and five to me; and, as to the
"underpinning"--well, nobody'll be a bit the wiser, and the building
won't be a halfpenny the worse, _I'll_ bet my boots. Come, is it a
bargain?

[_After a little beating about the bush, the little "job" is
arranged amicably, on the practical basis of "a fiver each,
and mum's the word on both sides," thus evading the law,
saving the Builder a few pounds, and supplementing the
salary of the Surveyor. Ulterior results, unsanitary or
otherwise, do not come within the compass of this sketch._

* * * * *

STRANGER THAN FICTION!

(_POSTMARKS--LEEDS, HULL, AND ELSEWHERE._)

Mr. Punch was assisting at a Congress. The large room in which that
Congress was being held was crowded, and consequently the heat was
oppressive. The speeches, too, were not particularly interesting,
and the Sage became drowsy. It was fortunate, therefore, that a fair
maiden in a classical garb (who suddenly appeared seated beside him)
should have addressed him. The interruption reassembled in their
proper home his wandering senses.

"I fear, _Mr. Punch_," said the fair maiden, looking at herself in a
small mirror which she was holding in her right hand, "that you are
inclined to go to sleep."

"Well, I am," replied the Sage, with unaccountable bluntness; "truth
to tell, these orations about nothing in particular, spouted by
persons with an imperfect knowledge of, I should say, almost any
subject, bore me."

"The information is unnecessary," observed the young lady; with a
smile. "I share your feelings. But if you will be so kind as to pay a
little attention to the speakers while they are under my influence, I
think you will discover a new interest in their utterances."

"Are you an hypnotist, Madam?" asked _Mr. Punch_.

"Well, not exactly. But, when I have the chance, I can make people
speak the Truth."

Then _Mr. Punch_ listened, and was surprised at the strange things
that next happened.

"I wish to be perfectly frank with you," said a gentleman on the
platform; "I am here because I wish to see my name in the papers, and
all the observations I have made up to date h