w me to muse and to sigh,
Nor talk of the change that ye find;
None once was more happy than I;
But, alas! I've left Gushing behind!

[Illustration]

Now I know what it is to have strove[1]
With the tortures of verbal desire.
I must use measured terms, where I love,
And be moderate, when I admire.
No slang must my diction adorn,
I must never say "awfully swell."
Alas! I feel flat and forlorn,
I have bidden Girl-Gushing farewell!

Since I put down my name in that book
I have never called bonnets "divine,"
For our Sec. with a soul-shaking look,
Would be down on your friend with a fine.
So the milliners now I pass by;
Though dearly they pleased me of yore;
If a girl musn't gush, squirm, and sigh,
Even shopping becomes quite a bore.

For "gorgeous" I languish in vain,
And I pine for a "love"--and a "dear."
Oh! why did I vow to be plain--
In my speech? It sounds awfully queer!
Stop! "Awfully" is not allowed.
Though it _will_ slip out sometimes, I own.
Oh, I might as well sit in my shroud,
As use moderate language alone.

To force us fair nymphs to forego
The hyperbole dear to our heart,
And the slang without which speech is "slow,"
Is to make us a "people apart."
Oh, to say (without fines) "quite too-too!"
For dear "awfully jolly" I yearn.
I would "chuck" all my friends, sweet--save you--
To the pathways of Gush to return.

Eh? "_Chuck_" did I say? That is Slang!
And "_Sweet_?" That's decidedly Gush!
Oh, let the A.G.S. go hang!
My old love returns with a rush.
It is "gorgeous" once more to be free,
O'er a frock or a first night to glow.
Come to-morrow! Go shopping with me,
_Ownest own_--and we'll gush as we go!

[Footnote 1: SHENSTONE, not _Mr. Punch_, is responsible for the
peccant participle.]

* * * * *

THE MODERN NELSON MOTTO.--At the Church Congress. Lord NELSON
expressed a strong desire for the union of Dissenters with Churchmen.
If his Lordship's reading of the old Nelsonian motto is "England
expects that every clergyman (Dissenter or Churchman) should do
somebody else's duty," then England will have to wait a considerable
time for the Utopian realisation of this pious wish.

* * * * *

NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS.,
Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any des