rds, we believe, accompany a hearty meal. We fear we cannot
enlighten you as to how you make your profits out of an ostrich-farm;
but, speaking at random, we should say they would probably arise by
pulling the feathers out of the tails of the birds and selling them to
Court Milliners. Your idea of trying them in harness in a Hansom seems
to have something in it. Turn it over, by all means. Meantime, get
a Shilling Handbook on the Management of the Ostrich. We think you
will have to cover in your garden with a tarpaulin as you suggest.
You cannot expect the fifty birds to stay for ever in your back
drawing-room; and the fact that you mention, of their having already
kicked down and eaten one folding-door, is significant. They will be
escaping from your balcony all over the neighbourhood if you do not
take care to secure them; and as they seem fresh, very aggressive, and
strong in the leg, such a catastrophe might lead you into a good deal
of unpleasantness. Take our advice, and get them downstairs, tight
under a stout tarpaulin, as soon as possible.

* * * * *

HOW IT'S DONE.

_A HANDBOOK TO HONESTY._

NO. I.--"I'M MONARCH OF ALL I _SURVEY_!"

SCENE--_Interior of newly-erected building. Present, the
Builder and a Surveyor, the former looking timidly foxy,
the latter knowingly pompous, and floridly self-important;
Builder, in dusty suit of dittoes, carries one hand in
his breeches-pocket, where he chinks certain metallic
substances--which may be coins or keys--nervously and
intermittently. Surveyor, a burly mass of broadcloth and big
watch-chain, carries an intimidating note-book, and a menacing
pencil, making mems. in a staccato and stabbing fashion, which
is singularly nerve-shaking._

_Surveyor_ (_speaking with his pencil in his mouth_). Well,
Mister--er--er--WOTSERNAME, I--er--think--'m, 'm, 'm--things seem to
be _pretty_ right as far's I can see; though of course--

_Builder_ (_hastily_). Oh, I assure you I've taken the _greatest_
pains to conform to--er--rules in--er--in _every_ way; though if there
_should_ be any little thing that ketches your eye, why, you've only
to--

[Illustration]

_Surveyor_. Oh, of course, of course! _We_ know all about that. You
see _I_ can only go by rule. What's right's right; what's wrong's
wrong; that's about the size of it. _I've_ nothing to do with it, one
way or another, except to see the law carried