y hadn't kept the gardens well),
And got a lady-gardener in
Who didn't cost her half the tin,
And who, before she'd been a day,
Had scraped the blackest moss away.
She put a jolly little boat
For wounded soldiers on the moat;
Her relatives were bound to own
How practical the girl had grown.
She often said, "I feel more cheery,
I doubt if I can stick this dreary
Old grange again when peace is rife;
You really couldn't call it life."

But something infinitely more
Than just a European War
Would have been requisite to part
Romance from _Mariana's_ heart;
Once more she felt within her stir
The dawn of _une affaire de coeur_;
In other words, I must confess
She found her thoughts were centred less
On that young man who never came
And more on Captain What's-his-name,
Who'd left his other leg in France
And was a model of romance.

* * * * *

The wedding was a pretty thing;
I sent the "Idylls of the King,"
Well bound. And _Mariana_ wrote
A most appreciative note.
They live in London now, I'm told;
The Moated Grange is let (or sold);
I only hope they'll manage so
That TENNYSON need never know.

* * * * *

VERGILIANA.

For a certain German Admiral on being booted: "_Ite, Capellae_."

* * * * *

[Illustration: HERE TO-DAY AND GONE TO-MORROW.

CHORUS OF KAISER WILHELM'S EX-CHANCELLORS (_from below_). "COMING
DOWN, MICHAELIS?"]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

_Tuesday, October 16th_.--To Mr. Punch's blunt inquiry, "Why?" in last
week's cartoon different answers would, I suppose, be returned by
various Members. The CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER would say that the
reassembling of Parliament was necessary in order that he might obtain
a further Vote of Credit from the representatives of the taxpayers.
Brigadier-General PAGE CROFT, inventor and C.-in-C. of the new
"National" party, who has already attached to himself a following not
inferior numerically to the little band which, under Lord RANDOLPH
CHURCHILL in the eighties, struck terror into the hearts of the Front
Benches, longs to prove that, under his brilliant leadership, Lord
DUNCANNON, Sir RICHARD COOPER and Major ROWLAND HUNT will emulate the
early prowess of Sir JOHN GORST, Sir HENRY DRUMMOND-WOLFF and Mr.
ARTHUR BALFOUR.

But a word to the gallant General: