eggar hath prevented us of, and which we
peradventure shall never have? For that which he hath now attained with the
begging of some small pieces of silver, a temporal happiness, and present
heart's ease, I cannot compass with all my careful windings, and running in
and out," [3774]"And surely the beggar was very merry, but I was heavy; he
was secure, but I timorous. And if any man should ask me now, whether I had
rather be merry, or still so solicitous and sad, I should say, merry. If he
should ask me again, whether I had rather be as I am, or as this beggar
was, I should sure choose to be as I am, tortured still with cares and
fears; but out of peevishness, and not out of truth." That which St. Austin
said of himself here in this place, I may truly say to thee, thou
discontented wretch, thou covetous niggard, thou churl, thou ambitious and
swelling toad, 'tis not want but peevishness which is the cause of thy
woes; settle thine affection, thou hast enough.

[3775] "Denique sit finis quaerendi, quoque habeas plus,
Pauperiem metuas minus, et finire laborem
Incipias; parto, quod avebas, utere."

Make an end of scraping, purchasing this manor, this field, that house, for
this and that child; thou hast enough for thyself and them:

[3776] ------"Quod petis hic est,
Est Ulubris, animus si te non deficit aequus."

'Tis at hand, at home already, which thou so earnestly seekest. But

------"O si angulus ille
Proximus accedat, qui nunc denormat agellum,"

O that I had but that one nook of ground, that field there, that pasture,
_O si venam argenti fors quis mihi monstret--_. O that I could but find a
pot of money now, to purchase, &c., to build me a new house, to marry my
daughter, place my son, &c. [3777]"O if I might but live a while longer to
see all things settled, some two or three years, I would pay my debts,"
make all my reckonings even: but they are come and past, and thou hast more
business than before. "O madness, to think to settle that in thine old age
when thou hast more, which in thy youth thou canst not now compose having
but a little." [3778]Pyrrhus would first conquer Africa, and then Asia, _et
tum suaviter agere_, and then live merrily and take his ease: but when
Cyneas the orator told him he might do that already, _id jam posse fieri_,
rested satisfied, condemning his own folly. _Si parva licet componere
magnis_, thou mayst do the like, and therefore be composed i